The Lost Treasure
by Rina Aria
Summary: [Jude/Milla] It was already 4 years since the last time they met. Milla Maxwell, the Queen of Spirit intended to visit her precious person Jude Mathis. But, when an accident happened to Jude, everything went wrong in her life. Will Milla return the treasure she and Jude shared together? Or will she give up and disappear forever? What Jude even think about her?
1. Intro

**Disclaimer: Well, Tales of Xillia was never mine to begin at. All of the character, plots, and game is © Bandai Namco.**

So, like what I said before in my Gaius/Musee fanfic, I write another fanfic for Jude/Milla~ Oh and yeah, you don't see it wrong, this was intended to be a Multi-chapter fanfic~ nah, don't worry I'll update fast no matter how many review I got, because I love Tales of Xillia that's that~

Okay, I hope you will enjoy another fanfic from me~

**Note:**

"…**abc…" : Normal talking**

"…_**abc…**_**" : Whispering and far away sounds (so if it was in 1****st**** POV, eavesdrop)**

'…_**abc**_**…' : Heart talk, telepathy, that kind of stuff**

* * *

**Milla POV**

* * *

Today, I intended to take a look at the human world after my last visit to Origin world (Land of Canaan). The time moved so fast in the human world and when I knew it, it was already 4 years since that certain incident.

The state of Mana in the world became better and better as the time passed. I could feel that Jin became less used but the world technology was the same as before or maybe better. I guessed that Jude talk finally reached a lot of people heart and the Mana flourished.

That's why I wanted to meet Jude in my visible form first before I meet everyone. Usually I used my spirit form, that couldn't be seen by human, to see Jude from afar. Jude was so dedicated to his study I can't bring myself to appear myself in front of him, the time limit was one of the reason too though.

'_I wonder was Jude doing good_…_ I hope he didn't forget me yet_…' I thought in my heart as I flew past the Shell of Liese Maxia and entered the area of Elenpios.

Suddenly, my chest started hurting me and I felt so bad that I landed on the ground. The place where I landed was a thick forest with a lot vines hanging by the tree.

I collapsed on the ground as I clutched my chest. It felt like thousands sword pierced my body as I tried to keep my consciousness intact in my mind. It felt like that the owner of my 'Proof' had gone through something so bad I could feel it from far away.

When I blinked my eyes, my surrounding changed. I was not in the forest anymore, but floating on the dream-like place. I felt a strong urge to look down of me and so I that's what I did.

What I saw was a train went on the road in the side of mountain with a dangerous ground. It looked like the earth would slide anytime soon… very soon. When the train passed the dangerous ground area, there would be a land-slide and the train would hit it, claiming a lot of human lives.

When I knew about that, my vision moved to inside the train. What I saw was absolutely terrifying. Jude… Jude he… he was inside the train that would be hit by the land-slide. No… Jude…

I snapped myself back from the dream-like place, and flew as fast as possible to the land-slide place. It was close… so close… I don't want Jude to die…

When I was close to the train, I used Jude necklace that I gave as a link for me to enter the domain of human world. I knew Jude necklace would glow, and he would know that I was here.

I landed on the ground near the dangerous side, and chanted a summoning arte to summon Gnome as fast as I could. But, like fate was trying to be away from my side, the train passed, and the ground crumbled.

When the train passed, it was like a slow motion movie. The ground hit the train and the train… it… it rolled from its rail and went down the cliff with the ground burying it. Then, I got a sight of Jude crashed down with the train and blood dripped on his head. When I knew what I was doing myself, my chant to call Gnome was broken, and all I could do was running to the buried train and screamed as tears streamed down from my eyes.

"**JUDEEEEEEE**!"

* * *

**Jude POV**

* * *

It had been 4 years since the last time I saw Milla, Milla Maxwell the Queen of Spirit. The last time I did was when I went on a journey with Ludger, Elle, and all of my friends to the Land of Canaan. We parted our way when the journey over without talking about anything, not even a proper 'Good Bye'. I knew why I didn't say it, because even if the journey ends, Milla was always there, watching over us from the Spirit World with her kind smile.

Today, marked the 4th years, and today I would travel to Liese Maxia to meet Gaius and Rowen. We, from Elenpios research on Origin (on other name my team), would like to talk more about Liese Maxia way to contact spirit. We could make something spirit friendly, but we couldn't talk to the spirit yet, so my goal to make a world where human and spirit could co-exist was still far from finished.

I boarded the train which would take me to Liese Maxia with somehow a bad feeling. I ignored it and thought of it as a normal bad thought.

I tried to sway my mind from thinking about my bad feeling and thought about Milla. After all, the reason why I studied so hard was for her. She was the one who gave me this path and the light of my path to make it come true. All for the sake of her, I would change the world for the sake of one girl, one girl that I loved dearly.

In the middle of journey as we passed a mountain rail, somehow I could feel that Milla was near. My chest felt so painful and my surrounding was blurry. I was glad that I ordered a private seat just for me alone, so no one saw me like this.

Suddenly, my necklace which was given by Milla starts glowing with a radiant blue light. I could feel it that Milla was in human world. She was here… and she was near!

I looked outside the window and saw a faint light inside the forest. It was Milla. I knew she really was summoned to the human world. And when I'm aware of her presence, I could feel that our distance disappear and I was standing right in front of her.

Milla looked the same as she was 4 years ago. But, today her face looked so desperate. She chanted some line which was her summoning arte as fast as she could. I wanted to ask her why her face was desperate like that, when suddenly Milla stopped chanting.

And when Milla stopped, my soul returned to where I was, and the train shook so hard. When I get what was going on, I was thrown to the side of the train and the train went down the cliff and I hit my head to the train wall.

My vision darkened as I clutched my necklace as hard as I could. Everything went blurry and it was dark. The train went down an accident… maybe that's why Milla face was so desperate.

With my last power, I called her name hoping she would hear it, "Milla… I… lo…ve… yo…u…"

* * *

Okay, that's all for the first chapter. Wait, what, what?! Well yeah, the train Jude boarded was buried in the land-slide with Jude inside it, I'm not kidding. But oh no, don't worry, there was more of it later. So, if you liked the intro please **Review **the story~


	2. Chapter 01

**Disclaimer: I don't have Tales of Xillia. It was © by Bandai Namco**

See, I keep my word that I don't care about the review because I enjoy writing (typing) this story. So, this was the second chapter of this story and I hope you will like it even just a little. I'm not a native English so I'm sorry if my english is bad.

So, please **review** if you want to~ I appreciate the thought~ ^_^

Oh, anyway, for the reviewer who have no account (a.k.a. Guest) I will answer the review here, and I won't be alone~ *drag Leah, my OC

Leah: Wait, why should I do what you told me to do?

Rina: Because I'm the creator and you know that your certain partner ran away before I could drag her

Leah: Okay, fine! So, for the first reviewer he/she was someone with no name.

Rina: Yeah, so… below is the answer from me~

**Guest – **_Thank you so much for your time to give some thought about this story. I could become a hell updater if I have the good idea, if I don't please pray that I get a good one on my behalf okay~ well, I kinda have a bad habit where I make a good intro but destroy the whole story as I progress~ kick me if it happen~ well, it won't be right to make Milla suffer because she is the spirit, so well… it can't be helped~ ^_^_

**Note:**

"…**abc…" : Normal talking**

"…_**abc…**_**" : Whispering and far away sounds (so if it was in 1****st**** POV, eavesdrop)**

'…_**abc**_**…' : Heart talk, telepathy, that kind of stuff**

* * *

**Milla POV**

* * *

I ran and ran as fast as I could to reach the accident area. I couldn't think at all for the moment, not even thought about calling any of our friends for help. All I cared was Jude safety, I don't want him to die, I don't want to see him die.

As I arrived at the place, where the train was buried, I quickly searched for Jude whereabouts using his necklace as a link. That necklace was a part of me, so I would sense it.

'_Jude! Jude, please wait for a minute, I'm going to save you! I will safe you so…_' I thought as I walked nearer with the train.

I searched and searched until I think I would break down. If I couldn't sense the link anymore, it also means the owner was… I don't want to think about it.

"JUDEEEE!" I screamed his name in desperation.

Please Jude, answer me. Please tell me you are safe somewhere in the train. Somehow… somehow… Jude, answer my call… I am here… I am here to safe you.

Suddenly, as if my prayer became true, I heard a voice inside my head. The voice was the one I'm familiar with, as it was filled with kindness and warmth, '_Milla…_' the voice said. Immediately, I recognized it as Jude's voice.

I looked at my surrounding, and shouted, "Jude, where are you? If you hear me, answer my voice!" I shouted desperately.

There was no more answer. I looked over and over until I stumbled and fell when my shoes hit a stone. I winched a little, when I saw a faint blue light. When I saw that, I forgot about my pain and I went to it as soon as I can. The blue light was part of my light, I'm sure it was mine. I could feel a part of me in it.

I chanted a call to summon the spirit, as my heart wished for Jude to hang on. First I summon Gnome to remove the land-slide. Then, I summon Efreet and Sylph to cut through the train body. When I saw it was not enough, I draw my sword from its sheath and used an arte to cut through it.

"Jude, please… hang on… I'm going to save… you…" I said as I tried to cut through the train.

But, no matter how many I tried to cut through the train, it won't let me through. It was almost as if it told me to stop trying to save Jude. But, I won't give up. It was something that Jude teaches me, to not giving up even in the worst situation.

"No matter what happened… I won't give up!" I shouted as I concentrated all of my power on the tip of my sword when I land another hit to the train body.

Somehow, when I hit it once again with all of my concentrated power, the train gave in and gave me a path to go in and out. And when it did, I saw Jude lying on the train but with blood dripping from his forehead and his hands clutched my necklace tightly. Overwhelmed by the situation, I ran over to his side and called his name.

"Jude!" I shouted his name as I cradled him on my arm. The blood didn't stop but I don't want to give up hope.

I tried to check Jude mana condition and I could sense it was still there and there were a lot of it. I could feel my heart become light as his mana reached me. I could feel it… I could feel a part of my soul in it still alive. Jude was still alive… he was safe.

I thought I would cry at that realization. But, I know I shouldn't do that right now. Jude was still unconscious, and there were a lot of passenger inside this train in need of help. I cradled him on my arm as I chanted the strongest healing spell that could include the entire passenger in the train.

Undine warned me of my action by saying, '_Maxwell… if you did this, you might disappear sooner…_' she said in my mind.

'_I don't mind it… if Jude was me… he would do the same… so Undine, lend me your power… enough power to save every human in this train until help come,_' I answered inside my mind as I continue my chanting.

I could feel Undine nodded at my answer and she said, '_I understand… Maxwell,_' she said with a soft voice.

A lot of runes started circling my body and Jude's. As I continued to end the spell, I felt my body became heavier and heavier by each passing second. But, I won't give up. I will save every human inside the train… even if it will cost me my power.

"UNDINE!" I shouted as I summoned Undine.

Although Undine wasn't by my side, I could feel her outside of the train. As I called her, my surrounding glowed into a deep blue light shade. Jude wound also recovered and I could feel the life inside the train. They will be okay for now.

I picked Jude in my arm and jumped through the opening I made. I didn't think about anything but Jude safety, as I brought Jude away from the land-slide site.

* * *

Okay, that's all for this chapter~ fast huh? Yeah, it is~ now, now, at least Jude was okay right? I'm not that kind of bad author who liked to kill their character… yet. I hope my dear reader would appreciate my effort and maybe gave me some advice or two? Oh, and I absolutely love to talk and explaining thing, so if you want to ask anything about Xillia plot or story, although I never played it, I can answer~

Anyway, please **review**~


	3. Chapter 02

**Disclaimer: I still don't have Tales of Xillia and never will. All of its property is ©Bandai Namco**.

So, am I a hell updater or what? Don't know~ but I know at least I liked Tales of Xillia to continue this story until the end. I appreciate any reader who read my story, because I can tell all of the readers how much I love writing and Tales of Xillia.

Okay, so if you want to, please **review**~

**Note:**

"…**abc…" : Normal talking**

"…_**abc…**_**" : Whispering and far away sounds (so if it was in 1****st**** POV, eavesdrop)**

'…_**abc**_**…' : Heart talk, telepathy, that kind of stuff**

* * *

**Milla POV**

* * *

It has been a while since me and Jude walked away from the land-slide site. We had not met any monster or any people at all on our way either. I tried to search for any place for us to stay but to no result. My own power was limited as well, and I could feel my vision started fading away every seconds.

I keep myself together as I walked more to find a village. That was what I thought I would do, but my body gave in, and I slumped on the ground with unconscious Jude still on my back. His Mana was faint, but he still had enough to life.

My vision blurred and I couldn't lift my hand. I tried to look at Jude by rolling my body to his side. I could look him sleeping peacefully as I struggled to keep my consciousness intact. But, before I could see Jude, my mind gave in and everything around me became dark.

* * *

**? ? ? POV**

* * *

I walked my usual walk in the wood with my cat, Daisy, when suddenly she leapt to another way. I did saw what my cat did, so I chased her through an unknown path even for me. Daisy ran so fast for me to track her, but when I heard her sound, I knew she was near.

I tried to look for Daisy place guided by her sound. Then, I saw a bush which was the place I could hear Daisy's voice the loudest. I sighed as I put away the bush from me to catch Daisy.

"Good grief, why are you running Daisy?" I said as I walked through the bush.

When I finally cleared my path, what I saw made me shocked. Daisy stood beside two people, a woman and a man, who I'm sure, were absolutely not a native in this place, their clothes said that. I quickly checked for their pulse, and felt glad that they both still alive.

I looked at both of them, unsure what to do. Maybe I could pick one of them first, but that means the other would wait her without protection. I could use my spirit arte to protect the other for a while, but I'm not that strong of user.

After a while pondering about what to do, I decided on my course. The man had more injury than the woman, so I would take him first to my cottage. Then, I would cast a temporary protection field until I could pick up the woman.

"Okay, so, since I had decided it, I should start the preparation," I said to no one in particular.

I drew my bow from my back as I aimed for six trees to be the borderline of my spell. Then after the six arrow embedded on the trees, I aimed an arrow to the sky as I started my chant.

When I prepared for my spell, the tip of my arrow glowed with faint green light. As I released the last arrow, the other arrow formed a spell circle below my feet. When the last arrow reached certain height it disappeared and became a light.

I nodded to myself, happy to see my own work. I looked at two strangers who lie next to each other like a lover. Well, maybe they were but they looked different somehow. It's not like it was my job too though.

I picked the man on my back first and ran through the wood to my cottage. And when I already put him on the bed, I ran back to the woman, but when I did, she was awake. She looked to her side, and her face became pale. Maybe she looked for the man before?

She then looked at me with this scary looking face, and it was well… scary. Then, I called Daisy to come to my side, because the woman looked so menacing. It just need some seconds until Daisy came to my side. The woman seems surprised by Daisy appearance and she tightens her grip on her sword before she began her talk.

"Where is he? And how come you have a tiger?" she asked with this scary looking eyes.

Well, yeah, Daisy was a tiger, but tiger still a family of cat, so I thought of her as a cat in my eyes. I took some of my arrow from the quiver, as I said, "He? You mean the man who passed beside you? And Daisy is my friend!" I answer with equally stern voice.

She looked at me with mixed emotion, and it was categorized as a group with angry, so I guess she was angry. I readied my arrow and aimed it at her. Somehow I could sense a strong power from her, so I guess my arrow won't do much to her.

But as she (maybe) would attack me, she staggered and looks like she would collapse to the ground. Quickly, I dropped my bow to catch her before she really fell.

"Hey, hang on! I will bring you to safe place!" I said at her as she looked like she would lose her consciousness soon. But geez isn't this lady so heavy?

"Daisy, come here!" I ordered Daisy to move to my side as I struggled to keep her from falling.

Daisy growled and did my order to come closer. When she was exactly by my side, I put the heavy and weird lady on her back. Then I whispered to her, "Daisy, bring her to our house," I ordered her by whispering to her ear.

Daisy growled as an agreement, as she leaped through the wood. I sighed at this should be normal but turn out as a weird day. After a while, I followed Daisy to the house. I guess they owed me some explanation.

* * *

Okay, that's all for this chapter. I guess… lack of minor character in Xillia did make me quite troubled, as much as I tried to avoid OC use now I need to use it. I intended to make Milla found a hut, but I guess that was impossible, so I made someone found them instead. But, well, I hoped my OC won't get a lot of attention, but please no hating okay~


	4. Chapter 03

**Disclaimer: I still don't have Tales of Xillia and never will. All of its property is ©Bandai Namco**

Okay, so we get on the chapter 3. Honestly speaking, I didn't really count how many chapter I intend to make. Well, let's just let it flow with the course of time okay~ oh well, I didn't bring my laptop to my school anymore (I tried) so I can't update it daily or every x day once. So, I update every week which was usually a multiple update, but if I am particularly lazy, it was just one update.

So, I hope you would put up with me and my not so good grammar, and give some **review**~

**Note:**

"…**abc…" : Normal talking**

"…_**abc…**_**" : Whispering and far away sounds (so if it was in 1****st**** POV, eavesdrop)**

'…_**abc**_**…' : Heart talk, telepathy, that kind of stuff**

* * *

**Milla POV**

* * *

The memory of the crash repeated itself in my head for countless time until it gave me the nightmare. I tried to scream Jude name over and over, but he never answered me anymore. The thought of him going of somewhere hurts me… It hurts so much… what is this feeling?

As I came to my sense, I was lying on a bed with blanket over me. I could feel sweat trickled down from my face, as my breaths shorten. I looked around of me, and found that I was in some kind of a room in a simple cottage made from wood, with a hint of people living in it until now.

I looked around once more, looking for Jude, but I didn't find him in the same room as mine. Worried of his safety, I forced myself to stand up, to find my legs staggered and I fell to the floor.

It didn't hurt so much, so I tried to stand up again, using the bed as support. I could stand although a little bit shaky. But, when I did stand up, the door of my room opened, and I heard a shout.

"Who was there?!" shouted someone from the door.

Spontaneously I looked at the door, and found a girl with a hunter clothes, slammed the door wide open. She had long fiery red hairs like fire, which she tied into a high ponytail, and a pair of dark brown eyes that had this kind of sharpness in it. I could feel that I ever met her… but when?

She looked at me with a hint of surprise on her eyes. She rushed to my side before asked, "Okay, you owe me an explanation. But, let me give you my side of story first. Whoever you and that man were, I don't know who you were, and I found you in the woods half-dead so I brought you to my house, well, you almost attacked me but I am cool with it so don't worry. Because there was no way I put you two on the same room, I put the man on the other room with Daisy as his guard. Oh, by the way, the name is Leah, nice to meet you," she said with a fast paced speaking.

Now, I remember where I met her before. In the forest, when I was half-conscious, I saw her approached me as a tiger stood beside me. I remembered I almost attacked her when I found that I couldn't find Jude anywhere. I feel ashamed for attacking her without thinking through.

"My name is Milla, and he is Jude. Can I see him now? Our side of story was quite a long one. You might not believing half of the story. And well, I'm sorry for almost attacking you, ermm… Leah, could I ask where I am?" I said as quiet as possible but still audible to hear.

Leah laughed loudly and she then said cheerfully, "Like I said before, I was cool with it. Oh, so that guy was Jude… okay, I'll help you stand up, and gave the poor guy a visit, oh and for your question, you are in a small village called Ni Suva," Leah said with a hint of cheerfulness on her way of speaking.

"Thank you and I'm sorry to give you problem," I said politely to her.

Leah looked at me with laugh, as she circled my arm around her neck, and she gave me a support to walk. Then, we walked to the other room, and I found Jude on the bed with quite some bandage on his face. He slept peacefully, and I'm glad he was alright. And the tiger from before was also there, curled up in the corner of the room. Leah then sat me on a chair beside the bed.

"But really, he really had a terrible injury. But, the one that performs the first aid was quite an amazing arte user. I just need to bandage a little just to hide some of the wound. I presume you did the first aid until you ran out of power?" Leah said with a weird tone because her voice went up and down at some point I thought she sung her words.

"I didn't think clearly at that time, I just wanted to save him…" I said quietly to Leah.

Leah didn't say anything at my words, as she sat me down on the bedside of Jude's bed. I looked at Jude's calm face and it made me calm. Jude was alive… he was alive in front of me.

Suddenly, Leah said this with a hint of curiosity in it, "You love this Jude so much right, Milla?" she said or rather asked with curios voice, but her voice was also a gentle one.

I didn't understand what kind of 'love' Leah mentioned, so I answered, "Jude is my precious person. He hold a part of my soul when we swore to make a world where Human and Spirit could live together in harmony," I answered with soft voice. I never thought that my voice could become like this. I guess it was because I talked about Jude.

Leah nodded at my statement, but then she looked surprised when she said, "Wait… that kind of talk, I ever heard it somewhere…wait, wait, wait. So he was Doctor Jude Mathis, one of the lead researchers in Elenpios?! That very famous Spirit Researcher? Words rarely reached Ni Suva though… but at least I knew about him!" she said with surprised voice.

I looked at her with quite a surprise face. Well, I never knew that Jude had that kind of reputation even in Liese Maxia (I guess? I remember we did pass the mountain border of Liese Maxia to Liese Maxia land) although I did knew that he had some good reputation in Elenpios and A Jule. Leah quickly stood up and she said, "Well, I guess I need to get out from the forest and went to the capital city and report this, fast. It would be bad if I was charged from some weird crime I never did, oh wait, you didn't kidnap him or something right, Milla? Why don't you give me your story like, right now?" she said quickly with her fast talk way of speaking.

I barely get what she meant, but when she accused me of something, I quickly retaliated, "I-I didn't! I just wanted to save him… the train he was on had an accident in the mountain and the train was buried in a land-slide. Now that I thought about it, I supposed to call some official to save the other… why I didn't think about it before?" I said as I realized my own mistake.

Leah looked at me with suspicious eyes, but then said, "Oh well, I guess I'll believe you for now. I did hear a loud noise from mountain though maybe that was the crash you referred. Ni Suva was quite secluded and it was hard for people to reach this place. The train rescue might take a day or two. So, well, because I need to go to the capital city like right now, take a good care of Doctor Mathis in my stead. If you wanted to eat, the food storage was in the kitchen, and if you have a trouble at cooking like me, I had some easy recipe to follow on one of the self in the kitchen if I remember it right. It was quite old, but it was true nonetheless," she said with a lot of notes in her words and she sounded like she sung her words again. She really did have a lot of energy…

I stared at her with quite amazement. She seemed to be a person who was reckless, but actually she had a quick mind and quite a cunning one. She could decide stuff quickly in the best way possible for a certain time. Maybe that's why she could be a hunter and lived deep inside this place.

But, before I could say anything else, or even a proper 'thank you' or 'take care', she put her index finger and her thumb in front of her mouth, and whistled. The tiger in the corner rose up, as if answering the call. It walked closer to Leah in a calm way that I never thought it was the same tiger I ever read in the book.

Leah opened the windows of Jude's room, and the tiger leaped outside and she followed it. Then, she waved her hands to me and said, "So, me and Daisy would went on an express trip to the capital city. So, you better take care of yourself and the monster around. Oh, and I guess my trip back and forth from the capital city would take 7 days or something, so I better move now! See you, Milla!" she said with a cheerful voice.

Even I couldn't say 'wait' when Leah started speaking. When I knew what she had done, she was gone from my sight. I looked at Jude sleeping face, and decided on my course of action. I didn't need any food to eat (though I love it), so I could look for Jude. But then, I wonder how long Jude would be asleep.

I looked at Jude calm face once more, and smiled to myself. I touched his soft black hair and kissed his cheek as I whispered, "Wake up soon and have a nice dream, Jude," I whispered softly.

When I thought about Leah interpretation on 'Love'… I guess I do love Jude.

* * *

So, the miss triple question mark revealed her identity like just now and she went poof so fast. Yeah, she was one of my very fast paced OC, originally she was a dancer and not a hunter, and she had fire element (so her glow should have be red) rather than Wind element, but, this is Xillia, so why not?

Oh but don't worry, everything would went quite hard from this point on. I just wanted to get the introduction done and good. From now, we would see how Milla and Jude were doing in the middle of forest all alone.

Don't forget to** review**, okay~


	5. Chapter 04

**Disclaimer: It's obvious I don't have Tales of Xillia, because it was properties of Bandai Namco.**

Dum-da-da-daaa! Oh wait, wrong place. So, how was your week? Was it good? Or was it bad? If it was bad, I hope my update would cheer you up. But if it was good, I hope my update won't sullen the mood. Anyway, thanks for all the reviewer and whoever read the story. You guys lighten my mood just by reading my story~

Oh so, let's get on with the story now. So, don't forget to **review **because everything would go downhill from now on. More desperate Milla alert~

**Note:**

"…**abc…" : Normal talking**

"…_**abc…**_**" : Whispering and far away sounds (so if it was in 1****st**** POV, eavesdrop)**

'…_**abc**_**…' : Heart talk, telepathy, that kind of stuff**

* * *

**Milla POV**

* * *

It has been 2 days since Leah said that she would go to the capital city. Now, I lived with Jude in her cottage, as I waited for Jude to come into consciousness. Jude condition worsened a bit yesterday, but I'm glad it was just a light fever and it went down fast.

I'm now familiar with the layout of Leah cottage. She was like what I would think of her, quite messy but had a good sense. She put everything in its place like what she should be. I also saw some arrows and a sword in her storage. What made me quite surprised was the existence of a room that looked like a lab, but much more traditional than the one in Elenpios. She also had some picture of her with someone shorter than her but had more mature face. They didn't have a similarity in physic, so there was no possibility it was her siblings.

I regained contact only with the Great Spirit Efreet and Sylph, because Undine and Gnome protected the train until the helps come, by my order. It didn't come yet for 2 days, but I hoped the passenger would be saved and there won't be much victim.

I took a walk outside of the cottage to see the lake near it. Leah's cottage was near the lake, it was just a little bit of walk from the cottage. In front of the cottage there was a small river that might be from the lake, but I didn't really bother about it. I never see Leah as a people who would keep plants, but she actually had a small garden full with vegetables and herbs.

I breathed in the air which was rich of Mana. It was quite refreshing to get Mana from a clean place. I did wonder why Leah would stay so secluded although she was a loud person. Wouldn't she be… lonely living only with that tiger (I believe Leah called it Daisy)? Human really was mysterious…

I tried to test my own power after a few days. Undine said that I would disappear faster, because if I'm here, I would only caused disruption on the Mana flow. I pushed my limit to stay with Jude for this week though, I wanted to see him save, before went back to the Spirit World.

After a long while, I went back to the cottage. There was nothing that change from the cottage, and I thought that nothing would happen today. Well, not, because when I thought about that, I heard a voice coming from Jude room.

I was both alarmed and happy at the voice. Well, of course if it was Jude, then I would be happy, but if it was something with threatening aura, then I need to kick it out.

I prepared my sword just in case, as I walked slowly to Jude's room. I pressed my body on the door, and found that no sound was made anymore and I couldn't sense any danger in it. I relaxed a little bit before gripped the door knob.

I hold my breath, as I opened the door slowly. When I opened it quite wide for me to come in, I see that Jude's eyes were half-closed, and a glint of life was there. I quickly ran to his side as he opened his eyes wider slowly but surely.

"Jude, thank goodness you finally wake up… hey, does it hurts somewhere?" I quickly said as I gripped Jude hand as tight as possible. I could feel my eyes welling up by tears as I watched Jude was alive in front of my own eyes.

He looked around and he tried to wake up, but I knew he couldn't wake up yet. So, knowing that, I hold his chest and pushed him to the bed as I said, "No Jude. You just got into a serious accident. You shouldn't push your body too much," I said to Jude, as I prevented him from waking up.

He looked at me with questioning eyes and I smiled gently to him. I then asked, "Hey, Jude, did you want to eat something? I would try to make a food for you," I said as gently as possible.

Jude just stared at me with a hollow expression. Somehow, I started to feel something was weird with Jude today. He didn't talk to me at all, and he just stared at me as I talked to him. It gave me a bad feeling in my stomach that something had changed and it was really bad.

Jude looked at me and he opened his mouth slightly, but closed it again. He then asked, "Where am I?" he asked with small voice and almost as if he took a distance from me.

I stared back at him for a while. He didn't sound like the Jude I knew off. He seemed to change, but somehow I answered his question and said, "We… are in Ni Suva, somewhere in the border of Liese Maxia. Jude, what's wrong with you?" I said as I asked back to him.

Jude blinked his eyes to me and said something that made me felt like I was in my worst dream. His hollow eyes seem devoid of any emotion towards mine because those eyes…

"Who are you?"

…Would no longer see me with the same kindness when he saw me as Milla.

* * *

So, yeah, uh… yeah~ that's what happened anyway. So I was just typing random things and somehow found out that I moved this story quite in a fast-pace. Well, the story was a face-paced one in the first place. There won't be a chance for side development because there were none needed~ anyway, this time I went on a crazy mind mode, so if you want to kick me because I did something mean, just go ahead~

Oh, and don't forget to **review~**


	6. Chapter 05

**Disclaimer: It's obvious I don't have Tales of Xillia, because it was properties of Bandai Namco.**

No, please, don't kill me. I meant it. So well, now we get to the main part of the story and you guys should have known why I name the story with that and what it imply. If you have known for long or had a hunch about it, I give you some applause for that, because as long I can remember, I never told anyone.

Oh anyway, let bygone be bygone, I hope you will enjoy this chapter too! I still appreciate some **review **though…

* * *

**Jude POV**

* * *

All I see was darkness enveloping me in its tight embrace. I never knew why I was here and how I was staying here. At least, I could remember who I was. My name was Jude Mathis, a researcher in Elenpios in search of a way to create a world where Human and Spirits could coexist and live in harmony.

I never thought that the time would come for me to see the light or a way out of the darkness. I hoped someone would save me from the darkness but I saw no one who came. But, sometimes I saw a faint light in front of me, like it tried to comfort me and gave me a ray of hope. The light was accompanied by a gentle voice. The voice called me to wake up soon and wished for me to have a nice dream. The voice was warm and it made me feel calm. I never give up the hope thanks to it. I believed that someday, I would see the light and met the owner of the voice who saved me from the darkness.

One day, the darkness near me disappeared, and light bursting into my eyes. In no time, everything which surrounded me was full of light and my eyelids felt light I thought I could open it now.

With a deep breath, I opened them slowly, letting my eyes adjust with the light. My vision was blurred, but slowly it sharpened. From somewhere far away, I heard something was coming. I couldn't bring myself to see, but I could feel that the sound became closer to me.

"Jude, thank goodness you finally wake up… hey, does it hurts somewhere?" she said with a gentle and loving voice. It gave me a warm and fuzzy feeling inside me.

I felt that she gripped my hands so tight but it wasn't so tight it hurts, as I heard she talked to me. It was just a normal tight grip. I could felt through our connected hands that she cared about me a lot.

When I opened my eyes fully, I saw a beautiful woman. She had wavy and long with light blonde color. Some of her hair had a green hue on its tips, but she had a beautiful hair nonetheless. Her eyes were a color of amethyst and it was so beautiful I thought I would drown in it. Her eyes looked at me with an expression of happiness, and it made my chest warm.

But, although she felt so warm, I couldn't help but wondered. Who is she? Why she know my name? I tried to wake up from my bed, but felt a stinging pain around my back, preventing me to wake up from my position.

As if she knew that I felt pain, she rested her hands on my chest and pushed me to the bed while saying, "No Jude. You just got into a serious accident. You shouldn't push your body too much," she said with a caring voice.

I let her do what she wanted to do, but wondered what she had talked about. She then looked at me with a gentle smile on her face as she said, "Hey, Jude, did you want to eat something? I would try to make a food for you," she said that with a gentle voice like her smile.

I looked at her questioningly, her expression changed when I looked at her though. She looked like that she was frightened over something. She seemed to deny whatever it was inside her mind. I opened my mouth to ask why she made that kind of face, although I liked it more when she smiled with that gentle smile to me, but I closed it again, she was a stranger.

Then I decided to ask something more normal and asked, "Where am I?" I asked in the most normal voice right now.

She looked more and more frightened as I asked that. She looked nervous when she said, "We… are in Ni Suva, somewhere in the border of Liese Maxia. Jude, what's wrong with you?" she asked with a nervous and scared tone.

I stared at her. She said that she referred me and her as 'we' like we were an old friend. But, I never remembered to meet her before. So, I stared back at her as I said, "Who are you?" I asked.

She looked at me with a shocked expression, and as it softened, I could feel my hearts breaking into pieces. She had a very sad expression, almost as if she was in the verge of crying. She then asked, "Jude… do you really… don't know who I am?" she asked with shaking voice and low voice.

I stared back at her. I couldn't bring myself to say the truth, but if I lied, I'm sure it would break her hearts more. When she did, I could feel that I wanted to die rather than seeing her saddened. I liked her gentle smile the most and I wanted to see it more. A conflict begun inside my mind and it made me couldn't answer her question.

She seemed to know what my silence meant. Then, she lowered her head as she said, "Jude, you… I… my name… Milla," she said with a low voice and a saddened face.

I glanced at her, but couldn't see what she was feeling right now. She let go of my hands and tighten her fist on her thigh. She then stood up with graceful movement as she said, "If only… if only I knew about this… much earlier… I… I'm sorry, I would make you some food to eat now," she said with a voice that barely matched a whisper.

I stared at her as she made her way out from the room. I could see that her back's was shivering and it almost like she held her sadness back inside her mind. It broke me to see her like that somehow.

I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself. Her name was Milla, and she was a gentle woman who took care of me. She looked at me with a melancholy expression and gentle eyes. It almost as if we had met before. She even knew my name and the way she mentioned it… it almost as if my name was so beautiful, like a perfect song.

"Milla…" I let her name rolled out of my mouth. Her name felt so nostalgic, but I couldn't pinpoint it. I couldn't… just that. Knowing this, I couldn't bring myself to call her by her name.

"Milla…-san,"

* * *

Oh no, oh no, I almost broke up to tears when I type this one, it remind me of my first serious crush I would broke too if he forgot about me and it was too hard to move on *took out tissue*. Someone please just tell me that they will be happy someday! (Leah: *roll eyes* …and here I thought you ARE the Author; Rina: Shut up… *sobs*) Oh wait, I was supposed to not turn the author note into a chatting place. Oh well, my bad, really. I would be glad if you felt what I felt as I type this one too, though. I wanted to put Milla's own view for this in this chapter but… I decided to put it in another chapter.

Well, now I guess… please **Review**?


	7. Chapter 06

**Disclaimer: It's obvious I don't have Tales of Xillia, because it was properties of Bandai Namco.**

Rina: Here I am the author who actually felt bad at writing this out~

Leah: You are just stupid and we all know that…

Rina: Define the word 'we'

Leah: Me, Mel, and all of your OC?

Rina: Not a chance, so anyway, read the anonymous reply like right now.

Leah: Okay, fine… spare me my pride for this favor okay…

_**~ Maxwell : Thanks for the review and yes, he lost his memory. The part of it will be revealed later or maybe in the next chapter. I did remember what I would write but not counting it.**_

_**~ AkaneRingo: Thanks for the review and comment. Well, I guess not being a native speaker give a lot of people quite a headache to actually read my story huh… at first I wondered how you could get two review in a chapter, but I just remembered about anonymous stuff. Oh, and you may translate 'Our Love' to English, you need to tell me what you would do to it after you done with it though…**_

Leah: And there it was over with.

Rina: Okay, that practically sums up my answer, and now we could get on with the story.

Leah: Which basically, it drove the author in tear as well.

Rina: Shut up! Y-you just wanted to mock me right?

Leah: Hmm, I wonder… and so, because the talk will go on if someone didn't stop it. So I shall stop it myself. I hope you will enjoy this chapter and maybe kindly give some **review**

Rina: Geez, that kid got my part… anyway, let's get on the story! Oh, and because I forget about note… here it is!

**Note:**

"…**abc…" : Normal talking**

"…_**abc…**_**" : Whispering, past talk, and far away sounds (so if it was in 1****st**** POV, eavesdrop)**

'…_**abc**_**…' : Heart talk, telepathy, that kind of stuff**

* * *

**Milla POV**

* * *

I struggled to keep myself steady as I walked away from Jude's room. I could feel the gaze he gave me as I did so, but unable to bring myself to face it. I stumbled in the corridor and leaned myself to the wall as I walked with the remaining of my strength.

I wanted to say something, anything, but couldn't find the power to do so. Because if I let myself do that, I'm sure I would broke down and cried my heart out. I opened and closed my mouth, struggling to breath in the middle of my shock.

'_Jude…_'

He forgot about me. He didn't know me. He… the one I believed the most in the world forgot me. He… the one who cared about me, the one who believed me until the end… he… he forgot about me. He lost his memory of me. His words echoed inside my mind, giving me pain inside my chest.

"_**Who are you?**_"

I remembered everything, from the start until this point on. I remembered our first meeting. Not ever once he doubted me. Jude would always look at me with those straight and kind eyes. His caring and kind attitude made me believe with human. Because I knew, that there were people like Jude out there. That's why I wanted to know about human more. It's all because my meeting with Jude.

'_Jude…_'

As we spent time together, I could feel the joy of talking, laughing, staying with your dear friend. Despite their weakness, human could make a bond with others, relate with them, and eventually becoming stronger and stronger. Yes, there was a time I wished I was a human instead of a spirit. But, Jude made me realize… that whatever I was, I am Milla he always knew and cared of.

'_Jude…_'

Jude called me with desperation in his voice, as I saved everyone from Musee by using all of my life force into Lance of Kresnik. I heard everyone called for me too back then, but Jude called me with all of his power, tried to prevent me to do whatever I would do before. His saddened face and voice made me sad, but the thought of him dying was even worse. At that time, I gulped my feeling and saved him in the cost of my life.

At the brink of my disappearance I could hear Jude voice shouted my name over and over. He called me over and over as I approached my death. I was relieved that he was safe… he was alive. I felt no regret just knowing that.

'_Jude…_'

But, Jude came to Maxwell, the Spirit Lord, with resolve in his mind. He defied Maxwell, and brought me back to his side. I brought myself back to him… to fight beside him once more. We had through a lot of thing. My trust to Jude grew even before that especially at the time in the middle of our journey to Lu Rondo. I gave him my necklace, something that I had kept for who knows how long, as a proof of my trust to him. I thought after our fight with Musee and Gaius and I became Maxwell, we would go on our separate path and I would watch over him without him able to see me.

I was wrong after all…

'_Jude…_'

I got summoned once again. In cost of the other me life. I felt her strong wish to protect someone dear for her and I responded to it. I actually never considered the possibility of Jude was actually in the same group of her. I never ever thought that I would meet Jude in human world. I felt happy and delighted that I would go on another journey with him (and everyone) but, the circumstance didn't allow me to fully express my feeling. This strange feeling of longing had start before that time… which I just realized now.

'_Jude…_'

I regretted a lot of thing right now. Why I didn't realize this earlier? Why I brushed this feeling before? Why I never have the courage to admit it? Why? Why? Why? If only I realized it before… we might be happy right now. Jude might laugh at me with his kind smile. I might become the happiest person exist in this world… but everything crumbled with that sentence.

"_**Who are you?**_"

It hurts… it hurts Jude… was everything we ever felt disappear with those words? Was my feeling for you end with those words? Jude… my beloved Jude…

My knee gave in and I fell on my knees as I tried to resist my own sobbing. I failed to do so as I felt something warm on my cheek. I touched it and realized that it was water, it means I was crying. I could feel my body shivered at the thought of crying, but when another came down, I felt my sadness was there as well.

I put both of my hands to my face to cover my tears. I cried without sound and I did so as sadness washed over me. My voice was shaking as I said the words I wanted Jude to know right now.

"…I love you… Jude… I love you… I really do…"

Jude… my Jude… please come back…

* * *

So, that's what for now anyway~ uh oh, I better not cry too. Anyway please **REVIEW~**


	8. Chapter 07

**Disclaimer: It's obvious I don't have Tales of Xillia, because it was properties of Bandai Namco.**

So, well, now is the time to heavy update the story~ I felt really bad for not updating for… a week or so? I'm sorry so sorry, my laptop undergo a serial of unfortunate event and I need to repair it~ and by some chance, I forgot to copy the update of the story and I couldn't update it in some random place with internet~ so, I did went online but I couldn't update because none of the data was in my hand~ and the school was out to kill me! I even thought that maybe I would faint out of exhaustion in one of the day, but it seems that I'm not capable of fainting… believe me, I said the truth.

Well, anyway, I hope you would forgive me for leaving without announcement and made you guys disappointed by me, maybe, but I promise that I won't do that again except I have any unspeakable reason like participating on a academic contest (which I tend to do monthly and almost weekly) and that damned nasty homework plaguing my life.

Okay, so now that was out of the way, I hoped you will forgive me and kindly gave me a **review**?

**Note:**

"…**abc…" : Normal talking**

"…_**abc…**_**" : Whispering, past talk, and far away sounds (so if it was in 1****st**** POV, eavesdrop)**

'…_**abc**_**…' : Heart talk, telepathy, that kind of stuff**

* * *

**Jude POV**

* * *

I don't know how long I was lying down on my bed after I closed my eyes to get some rest. I tried to remember anything about Milla-san who seemed hurt because I forgot her. I couldn't take her expression on face value, but I couldn't imagine her as a dishonest person. She looked _too_ sad for lying.

I sighed in exasperation as I got nothing inside my head. I don't know what I was forgetting, and I couldn't feel at ease knowing it. Because although I didn't know it yet, I could feel that anything that I forgot was a very important thing in my life.

Suddenly, I heard a lot of noise coming out from the kitchen, mostly because of something falling. Normally I would feel tense and thought it was a robber or some bad people, but I just knew that it was Milla-san doing silly thing. I stifled a laugh as I imagined Milla-san as a clumsy cook. Somehow it fitted her perfectly.

I felt so glad that it was Milla-san who picked me up. I didn't know her too much yet, but I knew I would be happy in my stay.

After some time, I heard the door being opened. I looked up and saw Milla-san bringing a bowl of something. I just realized her clothing now, and thought it was weird for an Elenpios or Liese Maxia citizen. She wore a white one piece with high neck which reached only by her thigh. The shoulder part had blue clothes and also some cut part on her hands which decorated by black line, gear like motif, and blue small ribbons. Her chest part had a craving that looked like a crescent moon and it gave a little view of her chest. She also wore a shoulder length gloves with black gear motif and blue fingers. On her hips there was also something with the combination of color gold and black in some gear-like motif.

She looked so outer-worldly with that kind of clothing as I saw that people in Elenpios wore western like clothes and Liese Maxia people wore more eastern like clothes. It almost like she wasn't someone from this world at all. If she really said the truth, how we had met?

"Does your wound hurt Jude? I made sure that I healed everything, but I still want to know," Milla-san said with a gentle smile on her face.

As she said that, she sat down beside me with her bowl of porridge like food and put it in a table beside my bed. I just stared at her though.

Well, I didn't even feel anything painful in my body, although I knew that I had involved in some nasty stuff that resulted on my injury (and amnesia, from how Milla-san reacted). Then I asked, "I felt fine… but what happened to me, Milla-san?" I answered and asked more information in process.

She looked at me with wide eyes, before it turned into a melancholic one. She softly said, "I guess… hearing my name out of you was impossible now after all…" she said softly.

I looked at her with questioning eyes, and she shook her head a little and then said, "It's nothing… well, I… I found you outside a buried train near the mountain rail, and I brought you here… Le- I mean, a friend of mine now out contacting the king of Liese Maxia so the country could pick you up from here. I-we didn't want to worsen your injury so I stayed here to look for you, Jude," she answered with some stuttering here and there.

I eyed her curiously, but she quickly said, "Anyway, I didn't mean any harm to you. So, let me help you up okay?" she said with helpless eyes and she sounded desperate.

I couldn't stand her being sad, so I just nodded. She smiled a faint smile as she took my pillow and positioned on the bed side in vertical position. Then she gently warped her hands over my shoulder and pulled me up so I was sitting now. She took the bowl of porridge and asked, "Hey, Jude, could you eat by yourself? Or do you want me to feed you then?" she asked with gentle voice.

I tried to raise my hand but it was quite hard, I guessed I'm not ready to move as I had slept for who knows how long, so my muscle was still a little bit tense. I moved my hands onto my laps as I answered, "Could Milla-san… feed me then? I guess my hands were still too stiff to eat," I answered with sheepish smile.

She laughed a little before said, "Of course I will. In my heart you are my dearest friend… although you don't remember about it yet," she said with a gentle voice.

I could sense her being hurt by saying it, but brushed it off. I looked away and felt myself became shy at her presence. I never had someone pampered me or fed me when I sick, so it was a first time for me.

Milla-san seemed to notice that I was looking away from her as she said, "I hope you will regain your memory… but for now, open your mouth wide Jude," she said with a faint smile on.

I looked at Milla-san again, and found a spoon being offered to me. Spontaneously I opened my mouth and ate the food. It wasn't bad, really, it had some taste that made my heart became warm although it was somehow a little bit salty. At least now I know that it was really porridge.

I gulped it down and Milla-san gave me another spoon of the porridge and I gladly ate it. Milla-san looked happy as I did so, and she fed me up until the food was completely gone.

Milla-san looked at me with kindness in her eyes and asked, "It wasn't nasty right?" she asked bashfully I could see her face redden up a bit.

I shook my head and answered, "It was good. Thank you so much for the food," I said truthfully.

Milla-san laughed a little with melodious voice. Her laugh sounded like she was blissfully happy with it. Her sparkling radiance even affected me a little as I laughed a little bit at the sound of her laugh.

Milla-san then stared at me and asked, "I'm glad it was into your liking. Leah's note did help me a lot at the food making process… Jude, what's wrong?" Milla-san voice turned dire as my head started aching all of sudden.

I putted my hand on my head as I tried to ease the pain. I didn't think it was poison or anything, because if it is so then it would make me felt bad when I ate it. It was something else entirely different. It was like something forced to rip my head open and went inside. I groaned painfully as I tried to keep myself steady by listening into Milla-san worried voice.

Image of something passed on my mind and I closed my eyes to focus on it. I saw myself, still as a medic student, walking down a path which I recognized as a path that leads to Lu Rondo. I was holding someone on my back along the road without complaining.

I blinked once and found that the time had changed into night time and I sat in front of the campfire with someone beside me. I couldn't see who this someone was, but I knew that I wanted to protect that person and I wanted to heal that person paralyzed leg. That person was the very reason why I even came back to Lu Rondo.

"_Jude, I'm sorry and grateful after making you do all of this,_" that person said with stern voice.

I looked over to that person, and I knew that whoever that person was, that person was a girl. I smiled gently as I answered, "_Its fine, and I don't mind it… after all it's all I can do for you now,_" I answered with gentle voice even I was surprised by it.

She looked over me with an understanding smile, and then she said, "_But, I would feel bad to let you do all the cooking and everything. I need to give you something as a token of gratitude right?_" she said with calm and composed voice.

The 'Me' in the past quickly stuttered and said, "_I-I don't need anything in return…after all, I liked cooking and I'm helping you voluntary so I don't seek any reward of any sort. So, you don't need to think about it and just rest your body as it will help you recover from the paralysis faster,_" I stuttered as I tried to decline her offer, whatever it was.

She stayed silent for a while and I looked away to watch the light rain which started just now. After a few minute or so, I felt a tap on my shoulder and I looked at the source and leaned in to ask what's wrong when I saw that she was so close I could kiss her if I lean in more. A blush threatened to rise on my face because I was shy around her.

She smiled a bit as she run her hand onto the back of neck. I felt my face became hotter as I smelt the scent of mint and strawberry coming over her as she hooked something on my neck in the process. I tried to calm my heart beat down until she withdrew from me with a smile on her face.

I looked down at what she gave me and saw a necklace with shining blue orb and some silver thing circling it. It was something simple yet beautiful at the same time. It was the necklace I always wore every time. So, the one who gave me the necklace was that person.

"_It's not much but I will be happy if you keep it,_" she said with a gentle face as she stared at the campfire once more.

Before I could say anything to her, the vision ended and I was brought back in my own room. Beside me was a worried Milla-san who shook my shoulder in order to keep me here. I opened the lid of my eyes and tried to reassure her that I was okay, but she didn't get the message.

Milla-san withdrew her hands but moved it onto my chin and in process said, "Jude… Jude… Jude, I will ease your pain now!" she said frantically before closing her eyes and muttered something I couldn't comprehend.

Her body glowed with gentle but radiant blue light as her Mana made its way into her hand. When I felt the touch of Mana, my pain lessened and I felt no need to keep my hand on my forehead.

But when I felt it, Milla-san withdrew her hands for real and stared at me with her pair of curious eyes which clouded by worry and insecurity. I nodded my head in a way to show that I was okay. She looked relieved when I did so, and smiled an innocent smile, all while saying, "Jude, I'm sorry and grateful for making you went through all of this…" she said with innocent smile.

I quickly looked at her with surprised eyes. Why she said the same thing like the person from my memory?

She seemed to saw how my expression was right now and asked, "Jude?"

* * *

_**So, that's for now. I don't really know what part I should do for the first one, but I guess the important necklace go first (Believe me, I wanted that necklace bad). Well, so we all know right who was the said person from Jude memory, but if I reveal too much of his memory, then there is no point on making this story a multi chapter~ **_

_**Anyway, write your thought (flame me, scold me if you need) and I guess I see you later in the review tab? XD**_


	9. Chapter 08

**Disclaimer: It's obvious I don't have Tales of Xillia, because it was properties of Bandai Namco.**

So, what have gotten into me you said? Well, to pay for the weeks I had missed on, I have a double chapter update along with new story (one here and one in other) and a continuation of another story. But really, I was absorbed into Tales of Xillia completely like how I was absorbed in Legend of Mana (my very first game), although in two different way because I actually played and finished LoM.

But anyway, it wasn't the point right now, because we needed to enter the story like right now~ oh yeah, for anyone who asked about the amount of the chapter this story might have, I could safely said that it would take at least 7-10 more chapter including this. I just realized that I jumped the POV every chapter, so it would take quite a long time to finish with both Milla and Jude POV of the story.

**So, I guess please enjoy this chapter and leave some Review?**

**Note:**

"…**abc…" : Normal talking**

"…_**abc…**_**" : Whispering, past talk, and far away sounds (so if it was in 1****st**** POV, eavesdrop)**

'…_**abc**_**…' : Heart talk, telepathy, that kind of stuff**

* * *

**Milla POV**

* * *

I couldn't move my muscle even just an inch and my breath was hitched in my throat. I could say that because right here right now, Jude's hand reached up to my face and when it met my cheeks, then he stroked it gently with slow movement, partially because he didn't heal completely yet.

With a hard struggle on my part to find my voice, I asked, "J-Jude…?" I asked with a visible surprise and maybe my own nervousness.

Jude didn't say anything at my question and his eyes only looked straight at me. His touch was as warm as I remembered, and he was warm like the Jude I know. I couldn't dwell at the past as what happened right now was the most important. But, I still wanted to cherish my memory about Jude.

I could feel myself giving away to the warmth of his touch and closed my eyes. I wanted to cry and said all of my worry to Jude. I wanted him to know my pain because of his kindness when he forgot about me. My tears threatened to roll down but I hold it in by biting my lower lip.

Without myself thought about it, my hands reached up to hold Jude's hand which rested on my cheek. I was shivering under his touch, I knew it.

"Milla-san…?" he said with a questioning voice. But, he sounded like he was hurt.

I opened my eyes, just to find our eyes locked with each other. The Jude in front of me is the same Jude I cared. Maybe his memory was missing, but he was still the same. The kind, gentle, and compassionate Jude… I wanted to bring his memory back, but he needed rest now.

"You shouldn't stress your body, Jude… you are still recovering," I said as calm as I could right now. I wanted the best for Jude.

I withdrew his hands from my cheek and hold it against mine, before I put it back to his side, Jude said, "Milla-san… did we ever meet before?" he then asked.

I raised my head in surprise of his question. I wanted to say an affirmative answer, but I knew it would only make him confused. So, instead of giving an affirmative answer, I said, "It is for you to find out Jude. I won't make you strain yourself by thinking about did we really meet before. When you remembered, you would remember," I answered with a slight monotone voice but it was hard.

I could hear Jude let out a deep breath. Then I saw some of his bandage loosen in some place. Well, I did change it daily, but I never dared to change the one on his upper leg nor change his clothes. I'm not that clueless about human man, thank you very much.

But as I saw that and considering that Jude already awake, I said, "Jude, I needed to change your bandage now, except I saw that the wound finally closed. Oh, do you want me to wash your body too?" I said with a calm voice.

Jude blushed at my words, maybe the part about the washing body, so I quickly straightened it out, "I-I don't mean anything like that… I only rubbed your body with towel a-and I thought it will be uncomfortable to wear the same clothes for 3 days straight," I said with panicking voice. I wonder why when I said what I wanted to do out loud I thought the one who was perverted is me.

"I-it is not like that… and I don't think about it like that either, Milla-san… it's just… embarrassing," Jude said with slight shyness.

I laughed at his shyness but slightly broken up inside by his way of saying my name, I guessed I need to get used by that soon. Then I stood from my seat with the bowl in tow before I said, "Rest a lot so your wound would heal faster Jude. And would you mind to wait a little longer? I needed to find a change of clothes for you. I hope Leah left us some," I said with a monotone voice.

Jude looked at me and nodded while smiling. I winced at his smile, remembering a past once more, adding it into my inner pain. I walked away with soft steps, quite glad about how things happened. But I was hurt too, what if his memory won't come back? If that's what would happen… it might be the best for Jude. With less contact with a spirit on my caliber, he might lead a happy life with a happy family. He wouldn't need to get hurt just because bonding with the Spirit of Origin.

Was his lost of memory the work of fate so we would get separated? Or the fate just wanted to toy my emotion? Or maybe… it just wanted me to realize about my love for him. I let out a sigh I didn't realize holding.

I was so lost in my own thought that when I heard Jude's voice calling me, I instantly froze up in my place. He called me, "Milla…" with stern voice.

I don't know how to react with that. Does Jude say it on purpose? Or my ears catch it wrong? Or maybe he remembered about me? Scratch the latter, it wouldn't return that fast according to my knowledge.

I guessed that Jude realized that I stopped on my track even if I didn't turn my back to face him. He then softly said, "Thank you… for everything Milla-san," he said with soft voice.

I could feel my tears threatened to roll down from my face. I opened my mouth to say something, anything. Yet, my voice was stored inside my throat, unable to go out. I tried to calm myself and nodded lightly before leaving, opening and closing the door softly behind me.

After I put the bowl on the kitchen, my balance was lost and I knelled on the ground. I guessed, taking the pain from Jude using my hardly there Mana really took me a lot. I looked at my hand and saw it flickers once, but it materialized again as fast as it flickered.

I grasped my hand and put it on my forehead. Even if it might be just my ears playing with me, Jude called my name. It made me felt very happy and relieved inside. His touch, his voice, Jude's every action made my body and soul yearned for him.

"I love you… no matter what happened to you… I really love you, Jude…"

* * *

**Gaius POV**

* * *

I was in my study and staring intensely against the stack of paper Rowen gave to me before like it was a big enemy or something along that. Mostly it was because I was worried about a friend of mine that promised would meet me in formal way 3 days ago, but he was missing and the train he was on was missing as well. The search party was dispatched a yesterday but it didn't get any result yet.

The friend I mentioned was Jude Mathis, a 20 years old researcher, a very young age for a researcher nonetheless, and he was already the lead researcher, practically but not really in the paper, in his research team. The 'me' from 5 years ago would laugh at him and gave him a scorn when he said he wanted to make the world where human and spirit can co-exist, that we could co-exist in harmony, but he actually really changed the world and made it became true step by step.

One thing we have in common that we fell in love with spirit, he with Milla Maxwell one of the Spirit of Origin, and I with Musee a Great Spirit and the older sister of Milla. I guessed it was not so hard to know secret because my companions saw it almost instantly, only the said spirit didn't see it or even notice it. I don't know if it was only the denseness of spirit in general or the sister heredity denseness. Another one was Jude really was a good fighter, and when I felt his punch on me it really was heavy. I never lost in battle except from him and Milla, and I was with Musee fighting two on two with them.

I sighed when without my notice Rowen went inside my study, with his calm smile on his face all the way. But, I knew it best that he was worried about Jude safety, even more than I was. Well, he also never bothered to knock on the door because he was one of the few people who didn't need a formality to meet me with the other people were my important close friends.

"How was the search party?" I asked with stern voice.

Rowen shook his head a little as he said, "The weather near the mountain border was terrible, and we couldn't move forward because it might took us even longer to bypass it. If my deduction didn't fail me yet, most likely the train was somewhere on the mountain," Rowen said with a grim voice.

I glanced outside the window of my study and we both fell into silence. But, the silence was broken when I heard it quite clearly, I might add, a voice of woman I knew so much, rushing inside the study without even thinking that it was the study of the King of Liese Maxia and I might add, in panicked mode. Without even looking back, I knew who it was and said, "What's wrong Musee?" I asked with slightly annoyed voice because she never bothered to knock the door or using the door in general, but inside I was happy that she came by to visit.

Musee, who seems to not heed my question said, "Gaius, did you see Milla? Rowen, did you see her?" she asked with a visible concern and panic.

Now that was weird. I looked back from my original position and saw that Musee was completely freaked out that even Rowen saw her with an unreadable expression. Jude was gone, and now Musee came here looking for Milla. If my memory didn't fail me, shouldn't she stay in Spirit world or something doing her job as Maxwell?

"What do you mean, Musee-san?" Rowen asked with an uncertain voice.

Musee looked at Rowen with a visible panic and said, "Like I said, Milla was missing. I looked for her all over but I just couldn't find her! Her Mana reaction was so weak I can't pinpoint the location either. What should I do? What if she got hurt? What if she got lost? Oh, no, that would be terrible!" she said with panicked expression that's understatement she was freaked out completely.

It's not everyday thing for a Spirit of Origin to be missing, so I asked, "Since when? And Musee, calm down a little bit," I asked with slightly annoyed voice.

Musee seems to hear my plea on the end and stop her panic attack and said, "3 days ago she said she wanted to meet everyone in her human form. I-I thought it was okay, because the Mana concentration in the world was high enough for her to come without sacrifice. But then her Mana wave became so weak and she didn't go home or disappearing from human world. I was worried and looked for her all over, b-but, I couldn't find her…" she explained with a voice that sounded like she wanted to cry.

I put my hand on my forehead. Jude was gone 3 days ago, and now Milla was gone too. It's not like it was the first for Milla to just gone from the earth, 4 years ago she did quite a job at going missing.

"Musee-san, did you really sure that Milla-san was gone 3 days ago?" Rowen asked with a stern voice when he asked for confirmation.

I looked over at Rowen and Musee did the same as she answered, "I'm positive. Her throne was left to me for a while after all, we did it whenever she took a walk to the human world," Musee answered with questioning voice.

Rowen then looked at me and said, "Gaius-sama… did you get what I wanted to say?" Rowen said with a complex expression.

I tried to catch on his implication, Jude was gone 3 days ago, and at the same day Milla was gone too. If they were gone at the same day and remembering Milla was practically with Jude almost everywhere, it should be… don't tell me.

Rowen looked at me with a smile as he said, "Yes, if that was the case we could rest assured that Jude-san was within the capable hands. They might just take a shelter around the mountain area," Rowen said with a content expression.

I couldn't help but felt the relief as well. I couldn't see Milla abandoning Jude in one way or another. I guessed that even Musee understand what we have been talking about so she looked relieved. All we needed to do now was finding them and the missing train.

Our short relief was cut short by a loud rapping on the door. Rowen told whoever it was to enter the room while Musee went invisible. When Rowen let whoever it was enter the room, that person breath was strangled. The person was one of the messengers and he was in charge on calling me if something big happened. He then said, "The Beastmaster or The Fire Demon, Lady Leah Sanctrum asked for a meeting with the King and Minister," he said with short breathing all over.

I stared at Rowen and Rowen stared back at me. It's not like we didn't know the person who asked for the meeting, but we never heard of her for the longest of time. The last time we had a contact with her it was only in a form of letter. She was the guardian of the borderline, and her title was a real thing. Another thing about her, she hated waiting.

Musee looked over me with questioning expression. I couldn't blame her, she never knew about the person after all.

I looked back at the messenger before I said, "I'll go now," I said sternly to him.

His face lightens up and he scrambled down the room to do who knows what. Rowen and I (and Musee who was interested) walked to the meeting hall, to meet our sudden unusual guest.

When we entered the meeting hall, she, the said Leah Sanctrum stood there impatiently but still with a grace of a noble knight.

To be honest it was the first time I ever met her in person because she was charged to protect the borderline from the late king. I was even more surprised that she looked very young, almost like in early twenty, considering her start of job was more than a decade ago and she was supposed to start at her mid twenty at the time.

She had fiery red long hair which she didn't bother to tie and let it framed her face freely. It looks like she didn't have the word appropriate on her book as she wore a fancy dancer clothes that reveal a lot of her skin. Her eyes had the color of dark brown but one of it has the color of ruby. Beside her sat a white tiger that seemed to be loyal to her, one of the reasons she was called as the Beastmaster.

"So, you are the King right now, Arst Outway or should I say King Gaius? It's an honor to meet you. I am Leah Sanctrum, the loyal servant of Liese Maxia. Please feel free to call me Leah," she said with menacing voice and completely ticked off voice.

I could feel my eyebrows twitched at her attitude but wondered how come she knew my other name. I remembered that I didn't say it to other except some special people.

I could sense that Musee was ticked off by Leah attitude, but I told (not really told her verbally, I just gestured it) her to hold it in and let me do the talking. Then I said, "And what do we owe the pleasure of this meeting?" I asked with slight sarcasm on my voice.

She giggled in almost ominous way as she said, "I thought this will surely pick on your interest my liege. Did you know about the train from Elenpios that went missing three days ago?" she said with a mocking voice.

At the mention of the missing train, my, Rowen, and Musee, attention turned to her. She then giggled a little bit as she said, "Yeah, my liege. The train fell on my territory, it was quite a loud landslide it even reached my humble house. And actually, I'm here to ask something too," she said with a slightly less annoying voice.

Our breath was held inside our throat as Leah pulled out a necklace. I… we would recognize it instantly when we saw it anywhere. Leah then asked, "The friends of the owner of this necklace claimed that the owner of this necklace was Jude Mathis, the Spirit Researcher from Elenpios. Was this really one of his belonging?" she asked with a pure concern yet carefully.

Before I could answer it, Rowen said, "It was Jude-san treasured necklace, how come you had it?" Rowen asked with a flat voice, but I knew he was surprised too.

Leah then looked over us with questioning look and answered, "Well, I found them in the woods, and I gave them shelter. If they really said the truth, then I thought that my liege would recognize this necklace so I borrowed it when he was asleep," she said with a weird face.

I let out a deep breath, at least I know that the train crashed on the mountain and Jude was safe. But, then Rowen asked again, "Sanctrum-san, by this friend of Jude-san, do you know the name of the person?" Rowen asked again.

Leah bowed a little before she said, "If my liege wanted to know it. The name of his friend was Milla. She didn't tell me her last name for a reason I don't know of, but her appearance was so out of the place I even thought she was a spirit or something… like the one over there if I might add," she said with a more relaxed tone.

Musee who was silent squealed in delight. At least now she knew the place of her beloved sister. But she just realized something off from Leah's comment and raised a voice, "You could see me?" she said with questioning voice.

Leah giggled and said, "My ruby eyes let me saw the outline of spirit. I couldn't literally saw them but when I could see the spirit, I could hear the voice too. I couldn't pinpoint either this Milla was a spirit or not because I hide my ruby eyes by using a magical contact," she said with an amused voice.

Leah then looked over me and said, "Anyway, now that the formality was over. I wanted to offer my assistance to my liege and it was not in my list of job so it was personal," Leah said with a very relaxed voice, contrast to her annoying personality from before.

"What assistance?" I asked with a serious tone.

Leah spun a little bit, letting her clothes playing with the wind and took some light step before she jumped to my place and stopped around 5 feet away. I was surprised because her jumping made it looked like she had no weight or the wind carried her away.

She smiled on me as she said, "The weather was bad around the border, and it won't stop until next week. But of course, if it was that bad I wouldn't dare to go here just to report my finding. Oh, I wouldn't even bother to help the injured person inside it and let them rot there in 7 days, but of course I knew severe punishment might went on me and it involve water, oh, how I hate them with passion. Burning things were so much better than made it drown. So I offer a trade," she said with a brimming confidence like she held the trump card in her hands.

I tried to remain calm as I spoke, "Say your condition," I said with bitterness in it. I couldn't really sacrifice the life of the victim waiting for help, and it would only sour Liese Maxia and Elenpios already bitter relationship.

Leah giggled before she said, "I offered my guidance for my liege to use the Fire Demon road for the price of my beloved counterpart Anima, with this you must release her chain and make her live with me. Oh I also asked my liege and the prime munstier-something, and that lady spirit to come. It would take 2 days if the search party moved fast, but I guess it won't be that fast because 2 days was because I rode on my Daisy. It was a fun thought for me because the King would follow the Demon way, so how about it?" she said with an innocent yet mischievous laugh.

Then she back-flipped from her position and landed on her position before. She giggled mischievously at the process maybe because of her own weird amusement and weird definition of 'fun'.

It sounded like she was challenging me, tempting me with her weird title. I never really met this 'Anima' she talked about but I did hear some story about her. The Fire Demon beloved, Crazy Alchemist, Wind-Freak… a lot of weird story were tied into her very being as she resided inside a Forbidden Land _very _far from Leah's place. I guessed the first part was true since Leah, the said Demon, admit it. Anima never really had a bad reputation to get jailed or punished, but she escaped my mind completely.

Normally I would look at this matter closer, but because of the situation I said, "Rowen, call back the search party, we changed the path with the guidance of the Beastmaster with our deals in the end, and clear my schedule for a week even if it will make a war," I said with a sigh.

Leah gleefully clapped while Rowen moved to arrange the thing. Musee whispered on me as she said, "I didn't believe this psychopathic aura giver so I would check on it ahead," she said before disappearing.

* * *

So, that's that for now. Wow, it was quite long for this chapter. The search party was dispatched and don't worry Musee actually would pop out more often now. But then, who knows, see you later okay~ and don't forget to **Review**~


	10. Chapter 09

**Disclaimer: It's obvious I don't have Tales of Xillia, because it was properties of Bandai Namco.**

Okay, now I'm present with my newest update! Oh, and if you also follow me on my Legend of Mana fanfic, you will also see that I had updated it too! Well, it was only because I had fell in love with the Dragon Arc more just by writing it.

But of course again, I'm getting sidetracked right? So, let's get on the right track and enjoy my update on this~ Oh, any **review** is still welcome and **if you found an use of wrong grammar on this chapter, never hesitate to tell me, I will change it!**

**Note:**

"…abc…"** : Normal talking**

"…_abc…_"** : Whispering, past talk, and far away sounds (so if it was in 1****st**** POV, eavesdrop)**

'…_abc_…'** : Heart talk, telepathy, that kind of stuff**

* * *

**Jude POV**

* * *

I could only stare at Milla-san back disappearing from my sight. She looked broken up yet again, and seemed to hide it inside her perfectly calm and beautiful movement. If anyone could be a saint then Milla-san would be the most suitable candidate for it. She was the kindest person I ever met, and she always put others in front of her own… even if the person didn't remember about her at all…

I tried to move my body again, to see how well I could use it now, just to meet the sharp pain from my nerves. Maybe I did have some type of amnesia, as that very same case of losing a part of memory made people became harder to move or learn anything particularly. I'm not stupid to just ask Milla-san about what I had forgotten because she had given me a clear answer from her that she couldn't decide which was right or which was wrong for me. I needed to learn about it myself.

"_It is for you to find out Jude. I won't make you strain yourself by thinking about did we really meet before. When you remembered, you would remember,"_

'_Milla-san really thought about my well being a lot…_' I thought to myself as I pondered about her.

I looked over the interior of the place, just to get surprised about how traditional and out-dated it was. It was even more traditional than Liese Maxia in general, like it came from a hundred years ago or something. It was comfortable, yes, but still the out-dated interior made me suspicious about this cottage.

More importantly, I never heard any place in Liese Maxia had a name close to _Ni Suva _for like… forever. I did hear from Milla-san that my train crashed near the mountain border of Liese Maxia, and all I could say for the area near it was… haunted. A lot of nasty beast resides around the place and it was a wonder how the train rail could be formed around it as well. Aside from the mountain being a part of Liese Maxia territory, I never really heard someone reside near it or even _in _it.

But, by the looks of it, Milla-san herself wasn't a native for this area. She looked to inexperienced with the terrain and her otherworldly appearance didn't help at all. So, most likely her story about picking me up was a lie, and in fact the one who picked me up was someone else entirely and that someone was the owner of this outdated house, maybe this 'Leah' person Milla-san mentioned a few time was the real owner of the house.

So, how come Milla-san was here then? There is no way for her to live in here seeing how she was inexperienced with the house. With only a little bit pieces of my memory up until the accident, I swear I was all alone in the train when it departed from the station. Then, since when she went aboard the train? How she saved me for real, no, how come she knew that I was in the train, really?

"Milla-san…" I softly mumbled her name.

Her name felt so nostalgic in my tongue. But, Milla-san really was a big massive puzzle for me. Who was she for the real? I knew she was not an Elenpios, but I couldn't believe she was a people from Liese Maxia either. But, there was no country aside the big two country, so it is impossible, not to mention she was quite accustomed with my culture. No, just… no way.

I tried to think a little bit more, and my suspicion only grew by each minute. When I finally reached a final thought… that maybe, just a maybe, Milla-san was…

Suddenly my head ached like it was pierced by swords. My view also blurred and my hand only gripped my forehead. Breathing became very hard as I felt like my life energy being sucked out from my body. I groaned in pain but I tried to keep it low, I couldn't make Milla-san worry me more than before. She was… she was… before I could even continue my train of thought, the pain only grew stronger.

After a while my vision back to normal and my breathing slowed down until I could breathe by myself. I knew I ever felt this kind of pain before… it was different from before, at when I regained a piece of my memory. The feeling of life being sucked on until it ran dries… the unbearable pain coursing through each of my nerves… I knew I ever felt it, but when?

"I need to follow Milla-san suggestion…" I sighed as I laid myself on the bed and pulled the blanked until around my neck.

I'm not in the body to try to endure any strong pain. When I recovered completely, I swear I would look for my memory no matter what. If I could remember about Milla-san… she might stop looking like she was sad.

* * *

I don't know how much time had passed since I dozed off and sleep. The window in my room showed that at least it was almost evening. I looked around but didn't find Milla-san everywhere in my room. She said she wanted to… err, change my bandage but if I dozed off, did she do it?

I looked down to find my clothes had been changed and the bandage around my shoulder also looked new. I looked down once more and found that I'm in completely new clothes, a brown t-shirt with brown trousers. My face lit up in embarrassment, so did Milla-san saw everything while I was asleep? Words can't describe what I felt right now.

It didn't really take a long time until I heard some steps coming near my room. I looked up when the door was opened and saw Milla-san holding a tray with a candle and food on it. She gave me a warm smile as she put the food on the table beside my bed.

"What do you feel right now Jude?" Milla-san asked with a slightly red face, maybe from the candle ray she brought with her.

I looked down, blushing at my own thought. Gathering my courage I said, "I'm good… but still embarrassed," I said softly.

After I said that, I felt Milla-san hands on mine and I looked up just to find her eyes stared at me with an intent gaze. But, when I saw it a little bit more, she looked apologetic as she said, "I'm sorry about that. When I came in, I saw you sleep peacefully I don't want to disturb your rest. I don't do anything weird or harmful to you, so rest assured, you can believe me Jude," Milla-san said with an apologetic expression.

Milla-san straightforwardness made me lost my voice. It's not like I was mad at her or something, but… never ever I had another woman touched me to change my clothing, okay, maybe Leia ever did that but it was in the past. I glanced back at Milla-san who still had the same apologetic expression on when I noticed that her gloves were missing, the black gold gear-like decoration on her waist also disappeared.

Instantly I asked, "Where were your gloves and the one on the waist, Milla-san?" I asked immediately as I noticed the lack of the things I mentioned.

Milla-san looked at me for a while before examining her hands and waist, as if looking for what I had asked to her. I hope she won't think that my question was a silly attempt to change the topic right now. Please, don't let her know that…

She looked away sheepishly with a slight pink on her cheek as she said, "Well… it gets a little bit uncomfortable tending you with those things on. So, I simply remove it. W-was it weird?" Milla-san said with sheepish expression.

I giggled at her cute question. By removing the gloves, I found that her one piece stopped half length of her shoulder. The cut on her thigh was more visible too, showing off her beautiful skin. Milla-san also seemed to take care of her nails properly, it wasn't too long or too short, and her hands looked delicate and small.

"D-don't laugh! Though I'm glad you laughed… it was like the past time…" Milla-san said with a nostalgic voice after her irritated face disappeared.

I looked over her and Milla-san immediately covered her mouth as if she said something she shouldn't have. I wanted to ask her what she meant about that or maybe ask about how we met and how come she knew that I was in danger. But, as her reply before came into my mind, I reconsider the question and kept my mouth shut instead. I failed though, well, because I murmured, "I'm sorry…" without me noticing it before it came out.

I saw her expression changed from an invisible surprise to her usual gentle face when she said, "Anyway, I fixed your dinner Jude. Do you want my help again or maybe your hands could do it yourself now?" Milla-san said with a gentle face on.

I looked over at my hands and to Milla-san face once more. I didn't want to try to move myself yet, because somehow I liked the time when Milla-san fed me. I felt like a child about the thought, but I gulped every bits of my embarrassment as I said, "I… I'll take the offer then," I said with a slight hesitance on it.

Milla-san looked at me with a raised eyebrow, but she took the pot of green colored soup-or something with weird color, when she said, "Okay then. Jude, you don't hate Herb Soup right? I thought it might be good for your recovery so instead of porridge I changed it into this," Milla-san explained a little bit of the food she made off as she put it on her lap.

I gulped at the premise of the not so edible looking food on my stomach. But, instead of complaining, I said, "I could eat it," I answered automatically.

Milla-san took a spoon of it and offered it to me. I opened my mouth slightly and ate the soup at the response with a hesitance. A surprised expression dawned on me when I tasted that the soup wasn't bad like what I thought before. It was actually edible and _good_.

Milla-san giggled melodiously beside me as if she knew that I hesitated to eat the food and said, "Told you right?" she said with a hint of mischievousness that sounded alien to me.

I was stunned at her happily laughing face and thought that when Milla-san actually laughed, she was so beautiful. She did look beautiful when she relieved, even when she looked like she was about to cry, but her happy laugh was the best. I wondered what happened to me… since when I noticed about some girl to actually notice their beauty… but why this felt so nostalgic too?

I looked down with hot face maybe my face went red too. My heart rates became quite quick, but it was comfortable for me. This kind of heart beating felt so nice and it just felt… right. I wonder why I felt like this? Was this because of Milla-san?

My hearts didn't slow down until the food was completely gone and Milla-san said, "If you could eat this much, I guess your body will heal just fine, Jude. Anyway, could you show me your hand?" Milla-san said with a kind face.

"My hand?" I repeated her question as I tilted my head at the sudden request.

Milla-san nodded before she said, "I… I'm good at Healing Spirit Artes so, I might be some help for the recovery process…" Milla-san said with a bashful smile on her face, as if she was shy at the mention of that.

It was the first time I saw her became shy like this. Milla-san never hit me as the one who felt shy at the mention of her talent. I smiled as I say, "I'm on your care, Milla-san," I said as convincing as possible because I tried to hold my laughter inside.

I gave my hands to her and Milla-san touched it with both of her hands. Her touch felt so cool on my skin at the point of cold. But this kind of touch didn't really bother me. Maybe it was because I was a little bit warmer myself so anything felt a little bit cooler.

A faint white light flickered as our hands touched each other. I looked up at Milla-san who closed her eyes, it seems like she was concentrating. I decided to not bother her and looked down once more to our hands. I noticed Milla-san was an expert at Spirit Artes at the same time, seeing how young she looked I believed she must have a good talent.

When the light died down, I felt my hand became lighter and it really did felt good. I looked back at Milla-san who smile tiredly, and show her that I was okay now. She only smiled and walked away without saying anything but gave me a reassuring smile. When she leaved through the door, I heard a soft thump outside but it didn't sound like Milla-san dropped or something so I decided to look at my hands.

My heads starts pounding as a past vision clouded my eyes. I saw a girl, a lot younger than me holding a black and purple colored doll. She had a dirty blonde shoulder length hair with a pair of bright green eyes. When I saw her more clearly, she was being pelted by rock by some people. She seemed to hold her tears as she tried to defend her body while clutching her doll.

I wanted to yell to the people to stop it, but something went pass me in a flash, and I saw that it was me from when I was in my student years. He screamed what I wanted to say and saved the girl.

"_Are you okay?_" the 'me' from the past said that to the girl.

She still looked afraid and she ran and went pass me with a closed scared eyes. She ran to the back of the village as if trying to find a cover from people. I instantly looked back and saw that I wasn't alone in this place. I was with some man and the one who gave me my necklace.

When I saw that, I wanted to ask who they were but the hole of memory pushed me from that place and shoved me into another place entirely different. I saw myself with the people from before and the girl that got pelted by rock. She shyly approached me and put her hands on my wound as the doll starts talking.

"_Elize could use healing spell. She mastered it already,_" the doll said with a high pitched voice. And with that, my vision ended.

I was back in my room with sweaty head. I remembered I knew that girl and the doll. They were Elize and Tipo, a friend I met in Ha Mil at my journey 6 years ago, the part of memory I realized I had lost. I was supposed to be in school at that time, but I didn't in reality.

'_Then, was my meeting with Milla-san took place around that time?_' I thought to myself as I tried to calm my racing breathing.

I looked upward to the ceiling, trying to find an unknown yet answer. Learning the thing I forgotten made me felt anxious. I was worried to learn about myself… seeing a part of me who I didn't remember exist. But… as the face of Milla-san almost crying face made me gulped it all down.

I found what I wanted to do right now, and that was to regain my memory and remember about Milla-san once more…

* * *

Hehehe, so how was it? Does it seem that the story ran into a big circle? Oh and yeah, Jude lost all of his 2 years worth of amazing journey memory, so she forgot about Alvin, Elise, Milla, Musee, and whoever he met at that time but not at the later time, so he still know about Gaius and Rowen but not really remember about their friendship. It would come back later though so don't worry okay? Anyway, if you wanted to support me through a hell called exam, please **Review!**


	11. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: It's obvious I don't have Tales of Xillia, because it was properties of Bandai Namco.**

Did you realize that I copy paste-ed the disclaimer without really reading at it? XD Anyway, sorry for the late update of my story in this fandom or any other story in general. I got sick you see and got hospitalized for a week. And then, it almost like my teacher wanted me dead that I got super busy just after I released from the damned hospital.

So if you wanted to please gave me some **review**!

**Note:**

"…abc…"** : Normal talking**

"…_abc…_" :** Whispering, past talk, and far away sounds (so if it was in 1****st**** POV, eavesdrop)**

'…_abc_…' :** Heart talk, telepathy, that kind of stuff**

* * *

**Gaius POV**

* * *

I stepped out from my castle border only to find Leah who somehow quite willing to wait and actually bothered to use an appropriate clothing, she wore a long light brown colored traveling robe which covered most of her body. She was pacing back and forth like a kid. She stopped abruptly when she saw us and quickly shouted.

"Anima, where are you? If you hear me please come!" she shouted with a mixed tone. At the very least it did not sound psychopathic.

I looked over to Musee and Rowen before I called a _very _small girl with an expression opposite of Leah. She responded quite fast at my call yesterday, despite the sudden notice, and actually moved quite fast to the Capital, credits to Musee.

This so called 'Anima', had shoulder length emerald green hairs and with a big white beret on the back of her head. Her height only reached my stomach and that means she only reached Leah chest, I can't help but repeatedly thought that she was completely small. Her face was devoid of emotion and her gem like eyes was even weirder. She had sapphire blue eyes as her left eye and Peridot green eyes for her right eye. I do like blue color but I liked Aquamarine more than Sapphire.

"Meeeeeeel!" Leah shouted almost immediately at the sight of the girl and ran to her as fast as possible…

…Only to get a spin kick from the said person. Musee as well as Rowen only looked at the scene with amused expression. Actually I stifled my laugh too.

But, at the same time I heard a crack coming from this Anima or Mel or any of her names. I knew it wasn't bone. It was more like broken clay. She sighed in the process as if knowing about the sound and said, "Leah, repair me," she said with a simple three words, okay ordered.

Leah quickly woke up and from practically nowhere showered the said person with water. Musee squealed horrifically and I only looked away. Wasn't the water made her freeze out or made her… unseen could be seen. But didn't Leah say she hated water with passion?

Actually it wasn't too long until a blaze of fire actually engulfed Anima's body from head to toe for plus minus 5 seconds only to reveal her using a Gothic Lolita clothes. Leah actually laughed at this but Anima wasn't amused.

After she sighed sadly, again, she turned to me and bowed her head low as she said, "Nice to meet you King Gaius, The Hero of the Land and the Love of People in both countries. I humbly addressed myself as Mel, The Living Doll. I'm sorry if before was an unpleasant sight. It's been a long time since Leah repaired me to prolong my life. I was created by Devin Thierry Sanctrum a doll maker and Leah's father," she said with a very polite tone.

Musee was practically intrigued by this living doll and hovered around her to get a closer look. She actually dared to poke her cheeks, maybe to confirm that Ani-… Mel was really a real living doll. Mel actually looked at Musee before she said, "I'm sorry O Great Spirit, after the repair I looked like a real living human. That's how I was created. And even if I couldn't see, I could see your Mana trace," Mel said with a humble note.

Rowen nearly coughed his laugh, maybe at how she called Musee, and Musee had this 'sister complex' face on. I sighed at the sight of those 'sister complex' eyes which only being shown around Milla, and the said person actually thought that those 'sister complex' attitude is cute.

But, remembering our trade, I looked at Leah and said, "We fulfilled our deal, lead the way, Beastmaster," I said sternly to Leah who pouted childishly at seeing Mel attention being stolen by Musee.

Leah looked up to me, as if she just remembered about the end of our deal and then said, "Oh yeah, that. I and Mel shall precede first using Daisy and my liege could try to follow us. I wanted us to move fast so we could reach my home in 2 day time," she said as she called her tiger and sat on it. After she said that, Mel followed her and sat behind her.

Then Leah whispered to Mel a little bit before giving out Jude's necklace. Mel nodded a little and cast a spell which transported the necklace somewhere somehow. I just hoped that it reached Jude or Milla… they must be freaked out at the lost of the necklace.

Leah gently patted the Tiger head and walked slowly at first but then she said, "We'll start running so keep up with us!" she said with a loud shout.

As she said that, she actually sped her tiger up a ton. I shouted an order to somehow catch up with our guide.

* * *

**Musee POV**

* * *

Wow, this so called living doll is so interesting! I poked her cheek a little but she remained calm, couldn't say the same for the one who self proclaimed her as hers. Oh yeah I remembered they both have name. Milla might scold me for forgetting people name easily like this.

"Tch, so you catch up with us…" the short-tempered one, I remembered as Leah, said with a lot of venom in her voice.

"Leah, you shouldn't speak with a Great Spirit like that," the living doll, Mel, said with more monotone voice.

I giggled at the two as I floated around them, catching up with them with ease. Maybe I should help those who got left behind, but, I needed to talk with these two.

"Hey, you two… Leah and Mel… isn't it? What road I should take to go to your place?" I asked as I floated beside them.

Leah looked away in mad way as she said, "You should wait for us to tell then!" she said angrily for particularly no reason.

Mel quickly looked at Leah and said, "Leah!" with a lot of pressure in her wording which only got a 'humph!' as a response. She quickly looked over to me in an apologetic way as she said, "I'm sorry, Leah was always like this to those she didn't really fond of," she said with an apologetic tone.

I giggled at their opposite personality but wondered a little. I wondered how Mel walked around in a place full of dead thing. Based on the said doll explanation, she only saw things that radiated Mana. So shouldn't she blind at things that didn't radiate Mana? And then, she was a being of a pure Mana, her clay shell only sheltered the Mana inside, but she seemed to be more than just that because she could use Artes. Was she a product to mimic us of a spirit? Or was she a prototype to shelter a spirit inside a human-like body? Hmm, I guessed Jude would be interested in this.

"Ah, and for the question before… if the Great Spirit follow this path, there would be an intersection. Please took the one to South West and flew straight the path. It would led into a mountain, we created a path that could be seen from up. We had a simple hut made from wood surrounded by small plantation that should be there… if Leah took care of it in my absence," Mel then answered my question from before while clutching onto Leah back.

I nodded and said, "Thank you so much. I need to confirm whether Milla was really the one there, oh and stop that 'The Great Spirit' calling, just call me Musee," I said with a smile on.

Mel looked up over me with her artificial eyes that glowed when the ray of sun reached it, and said, "I understand Musee...-sama, I pray for the best in your personal mission," she said with a gentle voice, the first sign of emotion I saw from her.

I looked over her, surprised, of course, but then flew away without saying anything. Milla was more important, and I knew they had their own job, and that's it to bring Gaius and the other to the mountain.

It never crossed my mind before that what had waited for me over there was a pile of sadness.


	12. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: It's obvious I don't have Tales of Xillia, because it was properties of Bandai Namco.**

And now for the next update! Actually I'm being a little bit unfair by holding this until I wanted to update. Well, I'm a little bit depressed lately, doing a lot of school stuff and entering competition at the same time. It really drove me almost crazy, it's still good I only escaped by being hospitalized last time, but what waited for me, I wonder…

Oh dear, now you need to listen to my rambling. So, we get back on at Milla POV this chapter. **Please correct me if I made a grammar mistake because English wasn't first or second language of mine and then, please REVIEW.**

**Note:**

"…abc…"** : Normal talking**

"…_abc…_" :** Whispering, past talk, and far away sounds (so if it was in 1****st**** POV, eavesdrop)**

'…_abc_…' :** Heart talk, telepathy, that kind of stuff**

* * *

**Milla POV**

* * *

I stumbled once more after I healed Jude, struggling against my fading Mana. I leaned my head on the wall as my leg gave in and made me sat on the floor. I looked over my hand and saw it faded in and out a little bit more than before. I knew my time was limited but at the very least… I wanted to stay with Jude until help come, until I knew he would be safe.

With that determination in mind, I braced myself up and stood from my sitting position. I walked over the herb-filled room to find something I might be able to use to help Jude recovery process. The room was quite secluded and also the only room that looked more advanced than the other room, though it still looks deserted to me.

I didn't really venture the herb room thoroughly yet because I was busy tending Jude and keeping my Mana in check, so I used this chance to do that.

The door wasn't locked with anything in particular, like the other room. The inside part was quite stunning though. There were a lot of filled bottle with different colored liquids. It looked like a poison so I didn't dare to touch it. Another thing, there were a lot of medical stuff inside this room. Maybe this room was used to be a medic room? Or maybe there was someone with the knowledge about medic used to live here? Leah didn't seem to be the type to touch this kind of thing maybe it was the other one in her photograph, the one with green hair and different colored eyes. She seemed to be the type to work indoor like being an herbalist, so maybe this room was used to be hers.

"Amazing…" I didn't hide my surprised expression when I saw a wheel chair on the corner of the room. I remembered the shape because I used to be caged in one, at the time when my legs were paralyzed and Jude brought me to Lu Rondo to get a treatment.

'_At that time, it was also the first time I met Leah… everything seemed so nostalgic…_' I thought to myself as I touched the wheel chair.

In the process of Jude bringing me to Lu Rondo, he carried me on his back the whole time without complaining. He was so kind at that time, he was still kind now too, but…

Jude blank eyes flashed inside my mind and I shook my head to forget about the memory. Jude might not remember about when I gave him my necklace, which I saw him wearing it for this five years. He didn't even call me with my name anymore…

"Jude…" I consciously called his name. I closed my eyes to remember the happy day of our journey. I wanted the time to go back to that time, so I could be more honest and told Jude my feeling.

I shook the thought away, I need to face reality. And then I took the wheel chair with me from the herb room. As I expected, when I'm out of the room the house was still empty, there was no way that Leah would come with Gaius this early, after all she said it would take her some days. I wheeled the empty wheel chair and put it beside Jude room door.

I looked over the closed door and wanted to go inside it. But, I gulped my own desire to see Jude right now and walked to my room. I didn't need sleep or eat but I wanted to be like human, so for now I would go to bed. I was glad Jude had taught me about sleeping before, so it was easy for me to doze off.

"Good night, Jude,"

* * *

My surrounding was dark as I stepped inside the endless abyss. I wasn't the one to afraid of dark, so I tried to find my way to the exit. But, without any light to light my way or any direction to follow, I don't know where I should go because, seriously, this kind of abyss made me remember about many bad things. And it scares me more than the abyss.

"_Milla…_" suddenly I heard Jude voice echoed in the abyss.

I quickly reacted to the voice and looked all over for the source while shouting, "Jude!" all over at the top of my lung.

I walked around but quickly switched into running around the abyss blindly. I stumbled and fell, hitting some solid flooring below me. But still, I couldn't see anything. I couldn't even see Jude…

"Where… where are you… Jude?" I said to no one in particular as I tried to stand up once more. Something both cold and warm ran over my cheek, and I knew it was tears. Lately, I became a crybaby it was embarrassing…

Suddenly, I saw a glowing hand being given to me. I looked up and saw Jude smiling kindly to me. He gently said, "_Don't cry, Milla…_" he said with a gentle voice.

I don't know what I should feel right now. I was glad, I was happy to hear he called me with my name again. He looked over me with his gentle eyes, looking at me with a pair of eye full of kindness. My… Jude…

I rise from my position quickly and hugged him out of happiness. But, when I touched him, a burst of light came into my eyes, forcing me to close my eyes.

* * *

I opened my eyes abruptly when I noticed that the abyss was completely gone and I was somewhere else. I looked on what in front of me and saw Jude, a little bit than what I knew of. At least his usual glassless face now had glasses on. He was looking over the window, as if he didn't see me over here.

But, he quickly looked over me and his eyes softened as he said, "Milla, so you were awake," he said with his gentle voice.

I blinked over and over, trying to believe that it wasn't a dream. I looked on my surroundings and saw that I was in the same train that went on with the accident. Then I looked over to my hand, and found that I didn't wear my gloves. Spontaneously I looked over to the window mirror and found myself _quite _different.

I still had my long and wavy hair, but the color wasn't blonde anymore and I didn't have my charm point that was made by Sylph. My hair was completely brown colored but with still the same eye colors. I also wore a formal dress, like the one for party, on my body. I looked over to Jude questioningly when he looked over me with another expression I couldn't decipher before he moved to the seat beside me.

"Milla, why are you spacing out?" he asked me with curious tone.

I looked away in embarrassment. I was with Jude, all alone in this train room after all. Jude stifled a laugh before he used his big finger to remove some strands of my hair from my face. I looked over him in disbelief when he kissed it. He never did that before.

But not long after that the train shook so hard I got thrown to side with Jude on me. Jude looked at the interior of the train before he hugged me tightly, as if he wanted to protect me. Despite the great shaking, Jude said, "Milla, I will protect you," he said that.

And after that everything fell into places inside my head when I felt myself and Jude was falling. The accident was happening, and I was with Jude… inside the train… getting buried.

* * *

When my consciousness came into my mind, I was on Jude body and we were on the wall of the train. I looked over Jude and screamed, "Jude!" as I cradled him on my arm.

Blood flowed from his forehead dripping to the wall as I tried to wake him up. I desperately called him over and over. Then I remembered about the Four Great Spirit and shouted, "Undine! Sylph! Efreet! Gnome! Come to my side! Please save Jude!" I shouted their name to call them.

But, nothing come to my side like what I wanted, I called them again when I noticed that I was different. It was not the matter of hair color or eye color, I was human. I was a human and I couldn't call the Spirit to my aid.

"No, no! Jude, please don't leave me! Jude, I love you, I love you so, don't leave me!" I shouted over and over while burying my face on his chest and cried.

Suddenly, I felt a soft hand stroking my head gently. I looked over and saw Jude opened his eyes slightly. But, I quickly said, "Jude, please hang in there! Don't leave me alone!" I cried and begged him at the same time.

Jude smiled weakly on me, as he said, "Milla… I'm glad… you were safe…" he said softly when he moved his, I just realized, bloodied hand on my cheek. I don't care if the stain would remain on my face, I didn't want to lose him.

"Jude… Jude… hey, don't say things like that… we will be safe together… hey, Jude?" I said with sad voice. I don't want him to die… I don't want Jude to leave me… Jude… Jude…

But, before he could even answer, Jude closed his eyes and his body became limp on my hand. I tried to grip his falling hand while calling his name. But, Jude didn't open his eyes and his body slowly became cold.

When I realized it, I was desperately saying, "No…" I said as I cradled the now cold body.

"No… no… Jude! No, don't leave me alone! Jude, bring me with you! Please… please…" I knew I was crying uncontrollably. Jude body was completely cold and I couldn't sense life radiating from him anymore.

"JUDEEEEEEE!"

* * *

"JUDEEEEEEE!"

I woke up, panting and with my hands on my chest. I moved my hands on my cheek and felt the wetness on it. I was crying… and dreaming a nightmare… at that nightmare I was human, like what I used to think. Jude was by my side but… I couldn't save him… in order to keep me safe, Jude used his life… everything, for me… and because I was a human… I couldn't save him…

I covered my face with both of my hands, trying to erase the bad image of the nightmare I had. Everything happened like this because I was a spirit… I could save Jude because I was a spirit… is this a blessing or is this a curse?

"Jude…" I silently said to no one in particular.

Suddenly, I was worried about Jude and without thinking about my own appearance I ran over to the door of my room and practically slammed it open. I ran over the empty corridor to Jude bedroom.

I opened the door with panting because I ran to the room. I looked over the bed and saw Jude was there, breathing, alive. I couldn't express myself on how glad I was at this time. I unconsciously walked over his bed and fell on my knees right beside it.

I don't care I was on floor and not on chair. I linked our palms together and I was glad that the warmth was still there. Jude didn't become ice cold like inside my dream. He was here, sleeping, breathing, save, and alive. He was alive… Jude was alive…

I leaned my heads on our linked palms and closed my eyes once more, drowning myself on the warmth of his hand. This life of him was very precious to me… Jude was my everything…

"Jude… please, continues on… living…" I mumbled as I let darkness enveloped my vision once more.

* * *

Okay, so Milla became emotional yet again here. I thought I would make Musee reappear again here, but it seems that I was wrong a little. Oh yeah, before anyone asked, actually Gaius and co. departed the next day from this chapter so Musee didn't appear… yet.** I appreciate some review but if you decided not to, then it is okay.**


	13. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: It's obvious I don't have Tales of Xillia, because it was properties of Bandai Namco.**

Umm, well, so, this was the next update. Oh wow, this story reached quite a high number without I realized about it. I might skip things quite a lot because I wanted this story to end… somehow. So, if my pacing became so fast, I wanted to say sorry first before you asked.

Anyway, since it's been awhile from the last time I actually updated anything so I hope you will still keep the track of this story and gave me some **review**?Oh yeah, one more thing. **Please correct me if I made a grammar mistake because English wasn't first or second language of mine.**

**Note:**

"…abc…"** : Normal talking**

"…_abc…_" :** Whispering, past talk, and far away sounds (so if it was in 1****st**** POV, eavesdrop)**

'…_abc_…' :** Heart talk, telepathy, that kind of stuff**

* * *

**Jude POV**

* * *

When I was inside my dream, everything was blurry like my memory. From the shards of them, I saw a lot of that person appearing. It felt like she was precious to me, but who? Was that person Milla-san? A lot of question entered my mind even if I was dreaming.

Suddenly, I heard a gentle voice calling me, "_Jude…_" the voice said.

I turned around to see who had called me. The voice sounded familiar, as if it was from a far away time, it sounded so nostalgic. But, it didn't sound like Milla-san voice. Who was the owner of this voice?

"_Open your eyes, Jude…_" the voice said again.

I wanted to open my mouth but I couldn't. In front of me appeared a woman who looked like Milla-san but obviously wasn't Milla-san. She looked different than Milla-san that I met and I knew they were completely different person even if they looked completely similar.

She looked over me with a sad yet genuine eye when she said, "_Your Milla is waiting for you…_" she said again softly with those kind of expression.

After she said that, I felt that a strong power forced me to close my eyes.

* * *

After a long while I opened my eyes and tried to regain a full control of myself after that weird dream. I wonder who was the person that looked like Milla-san? I felt like we had met before...

I put the thinking in the back of my mind to think later on. When I felt that I regained most of my vision, the first thing I did was examining my surrounding. I looked over the window and saw that it was still dark. Maybe it was still too early in the morning.

Then, I tried to move my hand when I suddenly realized something, or rather, someone was holding my hand. Instantly, I looked over to the owner of the hand that connected to mine and saw Milla-san on my bedside, sleeping.

She looked peaceful when sleeping as if she saw a good dream. Just by seeing that bring a smile on my face. But then I noticed that Milla-san didn't sit on her usual chair or sitting on my bedside, instead she was sitting on the floor with her head on the bedside and her face was buried on our connected hand. The bed became her body full support.

I rose up from my sleeping position as soundlessly as possible so I won't disturb Milla-san sleep. I looked over her awkward sleeping position while trying to move my leg just to test it. I could feel that it was already half healed from the accident, but I couldn't force it to walk just yet. The fast recovery was thanks to Milla-san healing artes from before.

I was surprised when suddenly I felt that my energy was being sucked on little by little. It wasn't like it was dangerous, but it was still there. I looked over Milla-san again when I saw that Milla-san body began glowing a faint blue light like the moon light.

"Milla…san…" I let out a low surprised call when I saw that.

Milla-san body didn't stop glowing for some times. I gulped my nervousness and reached out Milla-san soft looking hair. Her hair also glowed the same light like her body and it looked both magical and beautiful.

It was when I almost touched her hair when I finally realized what I would do. Quickly, my hand was pulled away from the tempting rose thorn and I looked away out of embarrassment from trying to touch what I shouldn't touch. I knew that Milla-san was beautiful and all, but still, wouldn't she thought of me as a rude and hateful person if she caught me wanted to touch her? And it was just this morning I knew of Milla-san, but it felt like we had known each other for the longest time.

'_You only didn't want to admit that you had fell in love with her don't you?_' a voice inside my mind had said.

I looked over to the air only to find none. Yup, that was definitely I was talking to my own head. If I remember it right, Amnesiac people tend to do this kind of thing too. But to actually experience it myself was a little bit… hard to believe.

But the voice declaration undeniably made my face burning from embarrassment. This voice that came inside my mind must have read what I have been thinking for these past hours to reach that conclusion. But, was that enough time for a person to actually fall in love? Wait, does it only remind me that I _was_, in fact, in love with Milla-san before my Amnesia, meaning that we actually had met before.

'_It would be much easier if you admit that you love Milla,_' the voice said again with calling Milla-san name in more informal way.

If I had a mirror near me, maybe I might see my face had the color of red like tomato. I even doubt that the said fruit was enough to describe how red my face was right now. But anyway, why I even talked with myself? It wasn't logical even if I'm a little bit amnesiac, okay maybe _not a little bit_ but still.

I looked over to Milla-san once more and saw her stirred a little that I hold my breath just because of that. I liked it when Milla-san smiled and had this kind of peaceful face on and I hated it when she had a sad face in the verge of crying.

I looked on the ceiling and remembering about Leah, my childhood friend that may or may not I have met since I entered medic school in Il Fan. If she heard what my thought right now was… somehow I could hear her voice said that 'It's definitely love!' or something.

I let out a long sigh at my own head. Every people would say that what I felt right now was love, but was it really loves? All I had done to Milla-san all this time was making her cry…

"Ju…de…?" all of a sudden I heard Milla-san called with a small voice.

If I had a silver or golden hourglass right now I wanted it to stop the time! (**Could anyone tell me those thing existence in Xillia?**)

I nervously looked over Milla-san again and saw her blinked her eyes for a few times before looking at me. She was obviously surprised when she saw my face and looked over the room while saying, "Wait, since when I fell asleep in here?" she said with questioning voice.

I let out a nervous laugh, completely unable to answer the question because that was supposed to be my question. Milla-san then looked down at our linked hand before she jumped back until her head hit the wall which was quite far away actually.

Milla-san winced a little at the impact before she looked at her hand and then to me again. Then she hid her hand behind her back and said, "I'm sorry…" she said in a more masculine way of speaking.

Without leaving any words after the apology, Milla-san stood up and ran away from my room, slamming the door a little bit in the process, leaving me speechless against her quick action.

I looked at my hand which still had the lingering warmth on it. The feeling of Milla-san hand on mine was nice. Her hands were both soft and reassuring, giving me a feeling that I was precious for her and I was in a good hand. Even if it was a little bit mysterious, her glowing body which glowed like the moonlight made her looked very beautiful and, if I dare to say, gorgeous.

… I hope it didn't sound like I was helplessly in love now…

* * *

Quite a filler chapter I guess… I intended to make it awkward for Milla and Jude but somehow I get some weird ideas about voice inside your head. I ever read about this kind of thing somewhere and I usually spoke with something/someone inside my head in regular basis so I guess it's not so bad.

Anyway, I don't really create any development as it would happen in next chapter or the one after it. Beware of fast pacing and many jump because I'm too lazy to write the memory came back from step by step.

Okay, time to move on and if you would please **Review?**


	14. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: It's obvious I don't have Tales of Xillia, because it was properties of Bandai Namco.**

And here we are with the next update! Okay, finally I could discard the filler stuff and sorted my mind (short of) to move on with the main plotting. And in this chapter, something awkward will happen and a half of the day spent. I need to remind myself a lot actually.

Okay, now that it was settled, let's get on with the story and please **Review**!** Please correct me if I made a grammar mistake because English wasn't first or second language of mine.**

**Note:**

"…abc…"** : Normal talking**

"…_abc…_" :** Whispering, past talk, and far away sounds (so if it was in 1****st**** POV, eavesdrop)**

'…_abc_…' :** Heart talk, telepathy, that kind of stuff**

* * *

**Milla POV**

* * *

My breathing raced with my own heartbeat as I ran away from Jude room. I stumbled on my legs but I was on time to save myself from the hard and cold floor. I forced my leg to serve as my standing before running away once more to the outside of the house.

I finally stopped when I knew that I was far away from the house before let my knees fell on the land. I sighed as I felt both of my hands that linked with Jude hand just before. Even if the wind was cold but my hand felt so warm and it felt nice.

I couldn't shake the guilt from taking advantage of his amnesiac, but just by linking hands like this, I knew that I didn't feel that guilty after all. It was wrong yet right at the same time.

I warped my hands on myself hoping that the warmth would spread from my hand on my body. I silently wished that my dream just before won't end, dream where everyone was happy, a dream where I was with Jude. When I thought of that, I remembered a poem.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, trying to remember the words. Then, I softly said, "_Did he appear, because I fell asleep, thinking of him? If only I'd known I was dreaming I'd never have wakened,_** [1]**" I murmured the poem still clutching myself desperately for warmth.

I finally let out the deep breath I was holding in as I tried to stand on my feet. I looked up at the dark sky even if I knew that in a matter of hours, the sky would brighten up and a new day would starts.

'_Lately I became too emotional… it's bad in long term… but, I couldn't help it. Love really is difficult…_' I thought to myself with a depressed mood.

I'm starting to doubt myself again either this was the right thing to do or not. But, without Jude by my side, I couldn't choose nor understand. I never realized I was this helpless… because I always have Jude supporting me…

"Now I'm talking about Jude again… the Jude I know that no longer here…" I gently murmured to particularly no one but myself. Suddenly, the feeling of sadness came back to me.

The wind blew gently across my face, trying to soothe a little bit of my suffering. I sighed and let myself being comforted by the wind, by Sylph, and with Efreet who kept me warm all the time so I won't catch a cold.

I don't know how much time had passed when I realized that the horizon starts changing its color. The dark sky slowly melts in the bursting light, piercing the darkened sky little by little. When I blinked my eyes, the radiating sun light forced to come inside my eyes, as if it tried to brighten my mood. After all I'm Maxwell… the Lord of Spirit.

"Sylph, Efreet, and the land, I thank you all for trying to cheer me up. I will hope for the best this day," I silently said with a smile on.

I spun my heels and walked into the cottage to starts another day with Jude. I need to keep my words and make sure he was okay until the help come. What happened after that, I only hope for the best. If one day he would forget about me, I would never forget about him.

It was quite a bitter but sweet thought, but it was for the best of us. Maybe it was the best course of action for Jude right now. I don't want to drag him down by my selfish wish.

Then I kept my mind busy by reading and applying the recipe inside Leah massive and thick cookbook. I guessed that Jude could eat more than yesterday today, his inner body had no problem and the main problem for him was the shock because of the accident.

This was the third time I cooked food for someone. Honestly I wasn't really confident that the taste would come out as acceptable before but now at least I have a slight confidence at it. Though, if it was compared to Jude or, maybe, Ludger cooking I still had a long way to go. And Jude homemade cooking was also undeniably delicious…

I slapped my face from thinking about Jude (and food) while cooking for him. After all of this was over and Jude still didn't remember me, maybe I won't meet him directly anymore. But still, I could watch over him anytime from the necklace I gave him long time ago.

I just realized my thought and stopped my movement for a little bit, as if I remembered something important.

"_Necklace?_" I thought to myself.

I tried to figure out what I had remembered if only I didn't hear that the food on the frying pan already gave out a good smell. I quickly rushed to it and decided that I could figure it out later.

* * *

I took the tray of foods on my hands as I walked to Jude room. I thought that Jude hands were still in healing. But, I was wrong when I saw that Jude could move his fingers easily when I came into his room to give him his breakfast. I felt a little down that now, Jude won't need my help to eat his food and we would grow distant.

Not to mention that something like _that _happened just before…

I was a little bit hesitant to walk to his side and greet him as if nothing happened, but inside my heart I wanted to feel that something happened between us. Maybe I should put his food on the table and slipped out from the room, or maybe…

"Ah, Milla-san you are here already! So is it already the time for breakfast?" Jude said with a smile on his face as he tried to be cheerful, breaking off my train of thought.

I couldn't help but put on a smile and walked to his bed and put the tray of food on the table beside the bed. Then I sat on his bedside and then said, "I guess you could eat heavier food now so I fix you some omelet rice. Since your hands look okay now, you don't need my help on eating right?" I said with a smile on my face.

Jude looked over me with a surprised expression but then he looked away for a moment. I couldn't guess what is inside his mind and watched his changing expression. It was quite a funny sight but I must go now. If what I thought became reality, it would be better if I take a distance from Jude even when I don't want our distance grow.

I stood from my sitting position and said, "I will heal your legs later so, please bear with only your hands for now. Well then Jude, if you need anything from me, just call me anytime okay?" I said with a smile I forced myself to wear. If I could be honest, I don't want to leave Jude side. But, that kind of thinking is selfish for me.

I just took a step from my sitting position when I realized that someone gripped my wrist. I didn't need to look behind to see the owner of the hands, because there were only two people in this house. But with him gripping my wrist like this, I couldn't hold my happiness and my growing hope that he would remember me or anything happened between us.

"I don't want you to leave Milla-san. Would you feed me like yesterday?" Jude said with a firm tone that I stopped dead on my track.

I felt my face became hotter with the passing seconds. I would gladly do that for Jude, but this is bad in long term… and even if I knew that, my body moved by itself. When I realized what I had done, I have the spoon on my right hand and the plate on my left hand, feeding Jude in silence.

"You are a spoiled one Jude…" I softly commented when I gave him a spoon of his food.

Jude looked away in embarrassment and only answered my quite sarcastic comment after he was done eating the food from my spoon.

"I… well, I never get pampered like this before… even by my mother…" Jude answered with low voice, as if he actually didn't want me to hear it.

I giggled at his response and didn't bother to response, Jude had told me about it before and I ever went to his house, not that he would remember it now. His relationship with his parents wasn't the best around, but I knew he tried to contact them as many as he can in the past 4 years. Even if we couldn't meet directly, I knew it from our connection. A connection that might just disappear after this event…

Even if my heart conflicted when I stayed near Jude, I liked this kind of moment. I wanted to go away, giving him his happiness, even if it meant that our connection will disappear. I believe that it was right for me to do, considering our condition now and what will happen if Jude didn't remember me forever. But I am still selfish and wanting to stay right beside him. What should I do? What is the right thing to do? Someone please tell me…

* * *

I put the spoon on the plate and gave Jude a glass of water when the food was already gone. Jude thanked me for the food and praised my food. Seeing his smile threw my heart into another conflict.

Then I remembered about the wheel chair and that I put it outside Jude room. I intended to use it to Jude so he won't get bored seeing ceiling, bed, or anything in his room. In the past, Jude also took me to a walk with a wheelchair when my legs were paralyzed. Leia also came with us too.

"Jude, wait for a moment okay, I'll be back soon," I said to Jude while standing from the bed with straightened back and a face that I hope looked cold or emotionless.

Jude looked over me with questioning face but I didn't response his gesture to me, and instead, I walked out from the room.

When I came in again with the wheelchair in front of me, I saw Jude face changed color and it contorted like he was in pain, but he still fixated his gazes to the wheelchair. I rushed to his side and asked him, "Jude, what happened? Are you in pain?" I asked worriedly with a hand on his shoulder as I tried to peek on his expression.

Jude was silent and he still stared at the wheelchair with a blank expression but with a look of pain. I repeated my question for three times until Jude responded to me.

"Milla-san… I'm okay… thank you for worrying about me," Jude said with a strained smile on but he looked desperate.

I shook my head and said, "I only can worry about you and not helping. Please tell me when you are in pain, I will lessen the pain and, hopefully, erase it," I said with a worried voice.

Jude only smiled before he put his hands on my cheek. I blushed furiously at his warm touch as he said, "I wanted to shoulder this pain and I'm more than grateful for all of your help in my stay Milla-san," Jude said with a gentle expression that made my heartbeat sky rocketed and at the same time, piercing my heart deeply that it hurts.

I was speechless at his gentle eyes but drew back from him when I faced the reality. Gulping all of the words I wanted him to hear, I said, "If that was what your heart wished. So, do you want to go out or staying in the room, Jude?" I said to Jude.

Jude looked over me with still exhausted expression, and I honestly thought that he would stay inside the room for the morning or maybe the day, but instead, he said, "I wanted to see the outside," he said simply with a small smile.

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath and let it calm my mind before letting it out slowly. I opened my eyes and then I said to Jude, "I understand," I said.

I picked Jude up from his bed easily, and with a few protest from him which I ignore, before putting him on the wheelchair. Jude pouted cutely considering that a woman had just out strength him. Well, it's not like I was a human at the first place because I'm a spirit after all. And moreover, I already shouldered his weight when I saved him from the crash site. A little bit more exercise won't kill me.

I wheeled Jude out from the room and to the outside. The weather was nice and it wasn't too hot either. It really was the perfect time to go on a picnic. But, I need to focus on my own job right now which was taking Jude to a walk.

"Milla-san, where will we go?" Jude asked me when I wheeled him out from the cottage.

"Well… where do you want to go?" I asked back with a serious tone.

Jude was silent after I said it and I didn't dare to break the awkward silence. It didn't last long because Jude then said, "Well, how about the train crash site?" Jude said with a few more question marks.

I took a glance to the direction where I could feel Undine and Gnome presence from far away. I roughly measured the distance before I said, "It was too far of a walk from here and if anything happened, I don't know if I had enough power to fight monster yet. I know you are a capable fight on your own, but you are still recovering. There was a large lake near this place and it wasn't so deep inside the forest either so it was a lot safer. How about it?" I said back to Jude, offering a more possible and save decision.

Jude looked over me with this suspicious eye but said, "I believe in you Milla-san… so please don't lie to me," he said with a serious tone of voice.

I sighed and said, "I won't okay… you are still and will always be my precious friend even when you forget about me totally," I said with a strained voice when I mentioned the 'friend' part, because it hurts me that we couldn't become more than friend.

Jude didn't say anything after that when I wheeled him to the lake.

* * *

It only took less than five minutes of walk for us to reach the lake. Well, it would take more if the path to it wasn't cleared, but it seems that Leah did make a road to reach the lake without any harm coming to them. Maybe there was danger somewhere but at least not near the lake.

The lake was as grand as it was when I gazed into it yesterday. Small white colored flower covered the clearing near the lake and it gave the lake a nice fragrance. The tree behind us looks like it created an invisible barrier to not let any trespasser inside its protective circle. It really is relaxing just to stay here.

"Beautiful…" I heard Jude softly commented with his gazes fixated to the lake.

I wheeled him closer to the lake while saying, "This Lake had stayed in this place for a long time. Everything around it protected the Lake from danger and completely out of human reach, maybe except those who are native in this place. This kind of Lake was rare even in Liese Maxia, isn't it?" I said while walking closer to the surface of the lake.

"You are right, Milla-san… I don't know if it was a shame or if it was a blessing. What Milla-san thinks about it?" Jude said with a matured and serious tone.

I frozen on my track and looked far away. Somehow it sounded like my own question about being a spirit, was being a spirit is a blessing or was it a curse. I couldn't think of the right answer, everything had it reason to appear like how it was. Yeah, maybe it was the best I could say to Jude for now.

"Everything… had it reason to appear like how it was. No matter how vast my knowledge become, the unanswered would remain unanswered. That's what I think…" I said without looking back.

I took a step inside the water, I knew it was still shallow, and after all I had removed my shoes just now. I took another step inside, feeling that a weird energy flowing into me. I took another step out of curiosity, I couldn't shake the feeling that I was inside a big source of Mana.

But, before I took another step deeper, I heard a shouting, "Wait, Milla-san, don't die yet!" and I knew so well who said that.

I looked back to Jude, just to found myself being pushed to the water and my hair and clothes became wet and something was on me, pinning my body with the earth. Honestly, my head hurts a little and I need to ask Efreet to dry me later on.

"Milla-san, you don't ask me to come here just to see you commit suicide right? I-I might forget some parts of my memory but I don't want you to disappear either!" Jude half scolding half angry at me.

I blinked to him for few times, and then I said, "Who want to commit suicide? The water was just too beautiful so I went inside a little. See, we are still in shallow part. If I want to die, then I would use that!" I half shouted half angered back to Jude, my fingers pointed to the other thing in the lake. It's not like I could kill myself even if I want to.

Jude was quiet when I retaliated like that. He then looked over what I mention and indeed there was a long wooden bridge that reaches quite further to the lake, complete with some small yacht rested at the end of the bridge, it was quite old so maybe it was something from the far forgotten past.

"But… you looked like you would disappear… that when you walked further, and I blinked my eyes, you will gone with the wind… and it gave me pain inside," Jude said with a small voice.

When I heard it, my anger died down and I started to notice things. I didn't notice it at first, but now Jude was bigger than me, a lot taller than when we last met 4 years ago. His hair was still as messy as it was before, but his amber colored eyes gave me a sense of maturity. If I didn't know Jude well enough, I might mistake him for 25 years old man by maturity even if he was still 20 years old. He still looked young with his naturally young looks though.

My face flushed deep red when I also noticed that we were so close at the point of no distance. His face was directly on me and I could feel his breathing on my skin. His strong protective hands pinned me to the water underneath and gave me no chance to escape.

"Jude…" I unconsciously murmured his name.

Jude looked surprised at my calling, maybe for my tone of voice. I don't understand it myself why I called his name. Was it longing? Sadness? Suffering? Or maybe happiness?

We stared at each other eyes in silence. Jude amber colored eyes had this mysterious power that drew me into it. It embraces me tightly without letting me go, and what reflected on that gem right now are me and me alone.

I held my breath when I felt our nose touching each other and Jude leaned into me. I dared not to close my eyes and drown myself in his gem colored eyes. His breathing on me felt so nice and I could care less about where I was right now.

Our lips brushed slightly only to have Jude drew back a little out of hesitation. He looked at me with confused eyes while I only stared at him without any words. It was as if my voice was lost in the midst of our closeness.

Now, Jude drew back from my lips and instead of my lips, instead, he kissed my cheek tenderly. I could no longer control my own heartbeat and I let myself succumbed to the moment by closing my eyes.

And as I thought of that, the water that surrounding us glows vivid blue, the light ascended into the air before it disappeared with the wind. The light looked like firefly's light, small but strong, weak but beautiful, and also very mysterious. (**Author inspired by Legendia**)

Jude jumped off from me (literally) when the rare occurrence happened. As the water glows, I could feel my Mana coming back bit by bit and my power slowly came back. It won't last me long but at least I could protect myself from big monster without the need to summon 4 Great Spirit, for a moment.

I peeked over Jude who was amazed at the glowing water. I wanted to know the reason why he did that, why he (almost) kissed me, and how come he looked okay after that. Even if just a bit, could I hope that he loves me back?

I let out a deep breath, for now I don't want to think about it too much and enjoy the glows of the water.

* * *

Okay, that was quite awkward and I never thought that an almost kiss and a kiss on the cheek would take this long to write. Well, at least it was over and let's sees how Jude copes up with his irrational action. Stay tuned and **please review if you want to, and if you don't just by reading my story you had made me happy.**

**[1]: It was one of poem (**_**Iroha**_**) made by Ono no Komachi, a noble lady from Heian period (if I'm not false on remembering who appeared when), she wrote a lot of love related poem and it was beautiful.**


	15. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: It's obvious I don't have Tales of Xillia, because it was properties of Bandai Namco.**

Aaah, how I like to write the last chapter! But if I dwell on it too much, the story won't end doesn't it? And Xillia is Xillia because the amazing and epic adventure, so I would write a part where they go on a small adventure (of love … kidding).

I don't really understand how a man think and react if the event from before occur, because I obviously not a man so forgive me if it wasn't so natural. Oh yeah, I need some distraction… distraction… #deep in thought

Oh well, for now please **Review and correct me if I made a grammar mistake because English wasn't first or second language of mine.**

**Note:**

"…abc…"** : Normal talking**

"…_abc…_" :** Whispering, past talk, and far away sounds (so if it was in 1****st**** POV, eavesdrop)**

'…_abc_…' :** Heart talk, telepathy, that kind of stuff**

* * *

**Jude POV**

* * *

'_What. Just. I. Had. Done?!_' I was literally screaming that inside my own head.

I'm sure I blushed furiously right now, I'm glad that Milla-san didn't notice the change of color in my face. If she found out it would be beyond embarrassing.

I looked to the floating light in front of me with conflicted mind. I don't know what has gotten into me at the first place. When Milla-san took more steps deeper into the lake, my body moved by it selves to prevent her to commit suicide in front of me. She denied it completely and was quite angry at my shallow thinking. I can't help it, since she looked like she would just disappear with the wind at that time. And just the thought of it hurts my hearts…

And after that, everything just happened without my control. Her magenta colored eyes was enchanting me into an unbreakable spell. The depths of her eyes drown me inside it, making me unable to move even just for an inch. Her soft skin has the scent of mint and strawberry and her lips were glossy and had the natural color of cherry, so tempting to taste and have it for myself.

My face moved by itself to kiss her and only when our lips brushed slightly, I remembered that right now we are still stranger and hesitating. I knew that her eyes had the mix of shock and longing at the same time, but I couldn't bring myself to kiss Milla-san directly. I'm scared that she would push me from her, and then hate me for what I had done. Instead, I kissed her cheek and not letting it go.

When I kissed her cheek somehow, the lake glows in vivid blue color. I moved from Milla-san body and swearing to myself as I pretended to be amazed at the rare phenomena of the lake. Okay, it was _rare _but the thing about Milla-san was even more important to me.

I let out a deep sigh, trying to calm my nerves. I took a glance to Milla-san who was sitting beside me and enjoying herself of the sight. She looked calm and graceful and gorgeous. The sight of her inside the floating light was like a very beautiful painting, mysterious and beautiful at the same time.

"_Milla-san…_" I whispered her name softly for my own hearing. Was I really in love for her?

Suddenly, the light gathered around me, as if it was pulled by strong gravitation. I was surprised of course, especially when one by one it inserted my leg and made it glow.

I was simply speechless when the light finally disappeared from my legs, my legs felt lighter and stronger than before. After a few moment of silence, I heard Milla-san asked, "Jude… just now, what happened to your leg?" she asked with both curious and concerned tone.

"I… well, I don't know either but…" as I stopped midway, I tried to stand using my own legs and it was a success.

I easily stood as if I was never injured before and tried to walk to the clearing. My walk was steady and didn't have any evidence on shaking. Simply speaking, I had recovered completely.

"Amazing…" I heard Milla-san gasped behind me before I turned my head to her. She already stood from the water with her hands covering her slightly opened mouth.

I smiled to Milla-san, since I was happy that I finally released from the bed. Milla-san ran to me and hugged me while saying, "I'm glad now you are healthy again Jude!" she said honestly with a happy voice while hugging me.

I was embarrassed that Milla-san hugged me out of all people but the feeling of her hands wrapped on my back felt so right, and her body fit nicely on mine. Instinctively, I hugged her back and buried my head on the top of her head, inhaling the scent of her hair that had the scent of mint, like her body scent. Milla-san was shorter than me a little bit and as weird as it sounded, it felt as if I was shorter than her before. Why I felt like this?

After who knows how long, Milla-san suddenly pushed me with this shocked face. I was surprised myself when I saw that Milla-san face became a little bit red, out of embarrassment. She then said, "I-I-I… I'm sorry… I, well, I d-don't know what gotten into me… s-so…" Milla-san stuttering around her words completely embarrassed.

Then I swear my face turned red as I said, "W-well… I'm… I'm sorry too… for that… one… I… I don't know what gotten into me either… and also that baseless accusation…" I stuttered while I looked away from Milla-san gaze. Wait, why I even mentioned the kiss part?!

We stayed in silence for unnerving and painfully long minutes. Milla-san was the first one to break the silence by saying, "Hey, Jude, do you have a guess about the lake?" Milla-san asked in a more calm and serious tone.

"The lake?" I repeated Milla-san question before throwing a glance to the said lake. Somehow, my embarrassment from before flew away to the far away land.

"Yeah, what do you think about the lake, the light from before, and also the fact that it healed your legs? I had some rough guesses and wanted to hear about yours," Milla-san asked seriously.

I took a few moments to think and remembering about a lot of book I had read before. I also studied folklore and fairytales that mostly involved spirits, hoping that it might become a help for the Origin research.

Now that I think about it, how come I lived in Elenpios at the first place? And as long as I remembered from my study in Liese Maxia, shouldn't we live separately from Elenpios and that Elenpios was often told as a bad part in bed time story for kids. Simply talking, Elenpios is a place from a story and it didn't even exist in the first place, only a few knew the reality. But how come I'm inside it now?

I wanted to ask Milla-san about it, but for now I need to think about the lake. I ever heard about this kind of lake in one of the folklore, a very old folklore if I might add, and the name for this kind of lake wasn't it…

"I guessed this lake was the one in the folklore from Ainu's, the tribe that was long gone," I said with a slight hesitation.

Milla-san raised her eyebrow and repeated the name of the tribe I mentioned, "Ainu** [1]**?" she said.

I nodded to her before putting my index finger on the side of my forehead while saying, "Ainu, a tribe that was rumored to be one of the first tribe that was formed in Liese Maxia. No real record had the detail of this tribe and the one that was passed to our time was their folklore, literature, and some spirit stone. It seemed that Ainu people had the power to see and speak to the spirit somehow. They were also rumored to be the one that started the use of Spirit Arte," I explained as detail as possible.

Milla-san seems interested at this subject when she said, "And then?" she asked with a curious expression though her eyes remain as serious as she could, maintaining her grace.

"In one of their much folklore, they had a story about a doll maker and the lake of life. The lake of life was said to heal and bring longevity for the one who drink its water. Sometimes it was dubbed as the Undine Lake. But for what I saw, although this lake matched the one from the story, it didn't give longevity just… a very highly concentrated Mana with the power of healing," I continued my explanation alongside my deduction of the lake.

"Undine Lake, huh… hey, Jude maybe this wasn't the one from the story, and it was only a part of it. But, what do you mean with highly concentrated Mana Jude? Mana couldn't be seen with normal human eyes after all," Milla-san commented at my deduction, giving another question for me to answer.

I think for a bit before saying, "Well, I don't know if it was possible or anything. Mana was like gas in our life. And from the cycle of substance forms, if the gas was cold enough, it might become liquid. There was also the theory in Chemistry about bond between substances **[2]**. Maybe, because a lot of Mana was concentrated in this place, the Mana bonded itself with the water and became a water-like substance. What about you Milla-san?" I answered Milla-san question and then threw another question to Milla-san. (**This was a made up theory, don't let it get on you**)

Milla-san folded her hands over her chest before saying, "I had a different approach about this lake other than your scientific theory, though it was amazing of you to think that depth in a short time. Anyway, generally I agree with your deduction. Would you care to hear mine through?" Milla-san said to me with a soft expression as if she enjoyed this kind of talk.

I nodded as the answer and Milla-san closed her eyes and said, "_With your wish shall come my blessing. The blessing shall stay until the end of time. Protect the water of blessing. Promise to bless the land, the life, the plants, and the flow of thing_. This was a poem I used to hear when I was still an infant. It was about the exchanged promise or something," Milla-san sung the words that sounded like a poem before speaking in her normal way of speaking. (**And I made this poem up**)

Now it was my turn to become curious as I asked, "What is the meaning of the poem?" I asked. I can't help but amazed by Milla-san melodious voice and also the beauty of the poem itself.

Milla-san took a few steps nearing the lake. Then she crouched down while touching the water with her back on me. And then she said, "The poem had an indirect meaning that the great spirit of water exchanged a promise with someone about blessed water. A spirit never broke a promise even if it involved human. And this water indeed blessed with a high concentration of Mana like the Spirit Promise. But I never thought that the blessed water had the form of lake like this… and about your leg, in the poem was mentioned that it would bless the life, so maybe that was the reason. I only wondered about the third line…" Milla-san said with a gentle yet firm tone.

I recalled the poem Milla-san said before, and if I'm not wrong, the third line mentioned the part about protecting the water of blessing. Does Milla-san mean that someone or something should have protected this lake?

Once more, silence hanged on the air as we were busy with our thinking. I noticed that the wind had gotten stronger and it became colder, just noticing that my clothes were wet. I took a glance at Milla-san and said, "Milla-san, should we come back now?" I said with a slight shivering.

Milla-san raised her head and looked to me with a knowing expression. I saw that her clothes were wet and her hair was a little bit drenched, mostly because I pushed her to the water. She then said, "Yeah, we could discuss this matter better at the house. Let's go, Jude," Milla-san said while she stood up and approached me with the, now unused, wheelchair.

When we walked I just realized something. How come Milla-san knew a lot about Spirit?

* * *

And what the hell with this serious vibe in this chapter?! (And the lame break the moment stuff!) I only imagined that Milla and Jude had a good talk about something serious like how they were in the game (or at least I thought they would share some knowledge in a long talk). But I don't even realize that I started throwing a lot of randomness moment in it! Even I was being a nerdy geek like how I was.

Well, if that was what I wrote then that was what it became. Anyway, please enjoy this chapter and look forward to the next chapter. But, **if you want to don't forget to review!**

**Note:**

**[1] Ainu was a tribe that was said to be the first tribe in Japan, and yeah, it exists in reality. Ainu was said to reside in Hokkaido island, the northern part of Japan.**

**[2] I talked about the bond between substances like Dipole-Dipole, Van Der Waals, Hydrogen bond, chemistry stuff, in case you don't realize it. :D**


	16. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: It's obvious I don't have Tales of Xillia, because it was properties of Bandai Namco.**

Finally… finally the time has come for another character to disturb! Oh well, my bad for not updating in a long time. You see, I wasn't in my hometown and also not in a time to do anything except studying. If you never heard a High School student studying in University for awhile, then you heard now, because that's what I do. Don't ask the reason please…

So, let's see, actually except Jude and Milla, the member of the party that gotten into my greatest interest is Musee (with Gaius following just behind) never ask me how I rank them. And because of that, I used them mostly on almost all my story.

Okay, now that I'm satisfied on rambling my head out and pouring my stress, I'm gladly present you the 15th chapter! Please **review and** **correct me if I made a grammar mistake because English wasn't first or second language of mine.**

**Note:**

"…abc…"** : Normal talking**

"…_abc…_" :** Whispering, past talk, and far away sounds (so if it was in 1****st**** POV, eavesdrop)**

'…_abc_…' :** Heart talk, telepathy, that kind of stuff**

* * *

**Milla POV**

* * *

I looked up to the darkening sky from the window inside the bathroom. I knew that it was in no meant the nightfall, as it was still noon. Surely, it would rain in almost no time with that much dark cloud. I sighed as I drowned almost all of my body in the hot water, leaving only a part of my face in the surface. A surge of thoughts coming into my head.

This day was unbelievably full of surprise. I did remember having a bad dream about losing Jude in front of my eyes and that made me instinctively go to his room. And then, when I didn't even sort my mind, I hold his hand, cherishing the life in front of me and I guess I fell asleep.

Somehow after that I brace myself for the worst and fixated my mind to leave Jude forever if he didn't restore his memory of me. And while I tried to hold the Four Great Spirit to take care of the train passengers, I would take care of Jude since I am powerless and in the brink of disappearing. All I can do was taking care of one person I wanted to take care the most.

And then, _that_ happened. It was a slight kiss on the lips although it moved to my cheek instead. But still, the way he gazes on me, his beautiful amber eyes, the strength of his grips on my shoulder, everything Jude did gave me hope that he returns my feeling. I don't want to cling to hope, but I cling into it since the past that even I don't know the reason myself.

I tried to shook the thought away and get out from the bath. I wore one of the clothes I found in one of the room (that I suspected to be Leah's) and glad that it was the right size. The clothes was simple grey colored turtle neck with mid length shoulders. When I scanned through the wardrobe I found most of the skirt were either too short (for Jude) or too long (for me), so I took a med-length legging and wore one of the too short skirt over it. I felt like I was using Elle clothing style from four years ago.

I looked to the mirror inside my room and found myself quite different using human clothing. I… well, looked like human. I was made to resemble a human inside and out maybe except their feelings. But even with a lot of resemblance, I still looked otherworldly somehow, but now I looked normal. I took a comb that and start combing my hair that sometimes I found it to be a hassle while I think about a lot of thing.

I looked back at my reflection and it reminded me of the other me, Milla. She was nowhere in this world or spirit world, but then, Ludger was the same. Ludger was most likely merged with the world Mana since he wasn't the residence of Liese Maxia, so he had no gate to give Mana, but then it was Origin job to do, not mine.

I honestly wanted to talk with Milla sometimes. She was more human than me since she was relieved from the burden for being the representative of Lord of Spirit, Maxwell. If only it was possible, we might become sisters. I heard her story from everyone and knew that she treasured Ludger and Elle so much and also maybe she was in love with Ludger and from Ludger sad gazes from time to time when he saw me, I could feel that he was in love with Milla too.

'_If she became one with the World, then she was with Ludger right now…_' I thought to myself as I stared at my own reflection. Somehow as I thought that, I envied her for being able to be with her loved one even if it was in the world of death.

When I noticed my own remark, I unconsciously slammed the comb to the desk. I looked over my own reflection once more to notice that my face was red and I didn't look like how I used to think. I covered my face and tried to hide my embarrassment. I'm being jealous…

I walked out from my room and made my way to the outside hastily. I opened the door only to find Jude standing 50 feet away from my place, looking to the distance away with narrowed eyes. He already changed his clothes and into another, but I didn't mind it at the moment.

I stopped in my place and stood there like a fool. I was completely mesmerized at Jude even if he was just standing there with his back on me. But it hurts my chest when I saw that back looked so far and cold even if I stood just not so far from him. A lot of question flooded inside me, and most of them were reason seeking question.

I snapped from my trance and spun my heels as fast as I could. I went back to my room and hid myself below the sheet. I was being jealous and now I felt so sad and my chest tightened. I decided to let Jude go, but then why…

'_Milla…_'

I recognized this voice and get out from my bed and looked at surrounding. It vividly resembled Musee's voice. I placed both of my hands to my ears and focused my mind. I tried to listen to the calling voice once more and certainly, I heard a sudden reply on the other side.

'_Milla…_'

Now I'm positive that it was Musee voice. I opened the window in my room and looked outside, tracing the Mana around me. I closed my eyes and send my consciousness with Mana in the wind, trying to look for Musee eager to meet her.

It didn't take long until my consciousness was back in my own body and I found Musee. It never crossed my mind that I'm actually happy at Musee visit that I jumped from the window to the outside. Just after I reached the side of the cottage (which was some kind of plantation) the color of Aquamarine approached me in full speed ahead.

"Musee!" I called my sister while waving one of my hands to her.

Musee noticed my calling and hug me tightly while saying, "Milla, I'm dead worried about you! Where have you been this whole time?" she said with a relieved yet concerned voice.

I return the hug back to Musee and said, "Sorry to worry you Musee. I lost a lot of power that I couldn't contact you… I really did make you worry again," I answered with guilty tone on my part.

Musee let me go from her hug but still with both of her hands on my shoulders. She looked at me with a relieved face and said, "It's okay, all I care is that you are safe. Then, where is Jude? Aren't you two with each other?" Musee said with a curious tone at the end.

I looked away from Musee and looked around to make sure that Jude wasn't here. I took Musee wrist and said, "Let's talk in my room… I will tell you what happened…" I said softly while trying to contain my emotion. The least I can do is making Musee worry, and I don't want her to worry me more than this. But somehow, I get the feeling that I will make Musee worry a little bit more.

Maybe Musee noticed that I wasn't really myself when I mentioned the part, and keep her question stored for awhile. I lead her to my room and as we sat side by side on my bed, Musee finally opened her mouth.

"Milla, something happened to Jude right?" Musee asked with carefully used words.

I looked to the ground with conflicted emotion. I wanted to share my worry to Musee, but I didn't know where to start. I took a deep breath to clear my mind and Musee was willing to wait today.

"Musee, you heard about the accident right?" I said with an uneasy voice.

I could feel Musee gaze over me when she said, "Gaius had told me about it. The train that Jude was on got into an accident and lost right?" Musee answered with a concerned tone, maybe she sensed my uneasiness.

I nodded and answered, "At that time, I instinctively used all of my power to heal the train passengers. I ran out of power and was found by local and brought here. From the entire passenger, I only brought Jude along with me, I'm selfish aren't I?" I said while shifting my gazes from one object to the other, anything except Musee face.

I knew that Musee gasped at my _humanly _words. But, before she could say anything I said, "Undine, Sylph, Gnome, and also Efreet took care of the passenger in my stead while I took care of Jude. Everything was smooth until yesterday when Jude finally opened his eyes. While I was glad that he was awake, something happened and it hurts inside. My chest tightened, everything that happened after that went into blur, and all I could call was Jude name. Musee, I'm in love with Jude and I can't stop it… but… but…" I confessed while covering my face with both of my hand, my feeling from that day went on me in full force.

I felt Musee hands wrapped around me as she pulled me over her chest. I tried to contain my sobbing but failed to do so as I sensed the gentle arm running through my hair. I desperately tried to talk properly and managed to mutter, "Musee… J-Jude… he… he forget about our time… everything about me… without… trace… nothing…" I muttered as I started crying in my sister embrace.

I felt safe with Musee consoling me by letting me using her as a place to cry on. She didn't say anything and only ran her fingers through my hair. I never cried in front of Musee, ever, but now I didn't feel embarrassed at all, all I felt was relief that Musee was here for me.

After I became too tired to cry, Musee let me lay down on her laps. I sighed contently at the kind act. Musee then said, "I'm sorry, for not being there for you Milla," she said softly.

I smiled to Musee and answered, "But you are here right now Musee. Thank you for listening my feeling all the way to the end," I answered with more light feeling.

Musee only giggled as the response, she then said, "I knew one day you would talk about Jude like how I talk about Gaius. Don't worry, everything will be alright, I will be there for you whenever you want me to, Milla," Musee said with a gentle face on.

I don't know what I should say after Musee said that. Was my feeling for Jude had grown since long? Did it that easy to see through? Now I wonder did our friends know about this too… did Jude see through me too?

As if reading my mind, Musee said, "Don't worry, Jude didn't know about it yet," Musee said with a slightly mischievous face.

I stifled a laugh at Musee attempt to cheer me up. I made myself comfortable on Musee laps before I said, "Hey, Musee, I have a favor to ask," I said with serious tone although my throat was sore from all that crying.

Musee who had her hands on my hair asked, "As long as it was in my range of power, I'll do anything for you Milla. What is it?" Musee asked with a slightly cheerful yet serious tone.

I closed my eyes, feeling sleepy all of sudden, but I managed to say, "Please help the four great spirits on protecting the train passengers… and please stay with me until I sleep _nee-san_," I muttered with sleepy voice.

I could sense Musee smile on me as she said, "I understand. Sleep well and have a nice dream, my little sister," Musee said softly.

After I heard Musee reply, I sensed a smile on my face as I drifted to the dream world.

* * *

Okay, that's it for this chapter. Did Musee sound all big sister-ly here? I hope it was since that's what I wanted to write. After all, Musee is the older sister and Milla is the younger one, but as we know, Milla acted more maturely than Musee in the game. Oh well, but that's what make Musee and Milla attractive in their own way~

Oh yeah, anyone noticed that Maxwell had a weird sense on naming? He named both of his daughters (practically) with M as the first alphabet, look, Maxwell, Milla, Musee, understand what I meant? :D Well, that's not my problem and that's only Namco naming sense whatever it meant. Anyway, don't forget to **review and stay tuned for the next chapter!**


	17. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: It's obvious I don't have Tales of Xillia, because it was properties of Bandai Namco.**

Okay, now is the time to have some update after a long time! Well, it's not like I trash this fanfiction just yet. It's just… updating the story slipped out of my mind completely lately ;p. This chapter was done since a long time ago and I just put it on a hold so I won't rush thing. Reason was just an inner author feeling, no need to think about it too much.

Anyway, actually I foreshadow this one since few chapters before, but maybe most of you forget it already or just don't know what I mean XD. But then, it's half my fault for not actually write what I wanted to write in the first place and run the story as I please XD.

**Well then, please enjoy this chapter and if you want to, don't forget to review and correct my mistake in grammar because English isn't my main or second language.**

**Note:**

"…abc…"** : Normal talking**

"…_abc…_" :** Whispering, past talk, and far away sounds (so if it was in 1****st**** POV, eavesdrop)**

'…_abc_…' :** Heart talk, telepathy, that kind of stuff**

**#from this point onward, I will use official translation on some of the place name.**

* * *

**Jude POV**

* * *

I looked up at the darkening sky even if it was still noon. I remembered some bit and pieces about the blank 2 years on my life, but it wasn't enough just yet. I remembered about Elize and Tipo, and they unlock a lot of pieces of my memory that involves them. I saw one of King Gaius Fauves, if I'm not false remembering it, had the name of Jiao, with Elize and Tipo. I wondered why I got to met with the Fauves and I even saw the Prime Minister of Rieze Maxia and the Dawn King, Rowen J. Ilbert and King Gaius. Just what happened in those 2 years?

'_I still need to remember more…_' I thought to myself as I watched the sea of darkening cloud and seems to be endless forest in front of me.

Then, I heard a sound of feet not far from me and I instantly looked at the source of sound which was the house. I didn't saw it clearly enough, but I knew I saw a glimpse of golden colored hair coming inside the house, in other name, Milla-san.

I was shocked a little bit. By the sound of the feet, I knew that Milla-san wanted to get away from this place, in other name, avoiding me. Why she would do that?

When I noticed that I was standing in silence, I opened my mouth and called her name, "Milla-san!" I called half shouting it.

But as soon as my calling ended I heard another voice answered me from behind, "You called?" it said.

I instantly looked back and found myself being awed at the person in front of me. I saw the person before in my dream, a person that looked exactly like Milla-san. She was the one who said that I need to go back to my 'Milla', whatever it means.

I stopped on my track and decided that I could run after Milla-san later. I need to talk with this person first since she looked like she knew about my past self. I tried to think about something to say and only a question passed my mind. When it did, I immediately said, "Who… are you?" I asked her with slightly hesitating voice. After all, even if we _did _meet before, right now we are a complete stranger.

She folded both of her arms in front of her chest, somehow giving her comanding and demanding air. Maybe she was quite bossy in nature. She raised her eyebrows and said, "I'm Milla though I'm no longer Maxwell," she answered with a matter of fact tone. She made her point clear but I don't understand about the 'I'm no longer Maxwell' part.

Before I give her another question she said, "It's not like you remember me from the last time we met each other so you must be confused now. And you even dared to call her with my name, how annoying now that I got accidentally summoned here," she said with obviously annoyed expression.

I tilted my head to the side and said, "…Yes?" I asked to clarify her statement, or maybe, outburst. I don't remember summoning anything since I was more a Martial Artist than Spirit Magician. I can use healing artes but that's all.

She looked at me with horror expression and it immediately turned into one of anger. She then turned her back while saying, "Geez, what an annoying brat! Even from before you will give me that kind of look and getting all Milla this and Milla that. But now you didn't even remember it, anymore! You cold blooded heart breaker!" she shouted in anger. I don't get what she wanted to say.

I took a nervous back step before saying, "But why… err, 'Milla-san' came here? And I'm sorry for not remembering," I said nervously, trying my best to catch up with whatever she was talking about.

She, 'Milla-san', took a notice on my nervous movement and let out a deep breath. She then took something from her pocket that I recognize instantly, the necklace that was given by that person I cherished the most. I immediately put a hand on my chest, just realizing that it was gone.

"What- how co- since when?" I don't even know why I couldn't say a perfect question straight. I ran to her with only the necklace as my aim. I don't remember why that person who gave me the necklace was very important but I know it that this necklace is a precious treasure of mine. I couldn't believe I didn't recognize that it had been lost before.

'Milla-san' only smiled and took some steps to approach me with the necklace on tow. She put the necklace on my outstretched hand as she gave the necklace back. She then said, "I find it with a small and slow familiar so I took it. Because you called my name repeatedly along these days I know where you are so I appeared in front of you just to give this back, be grateful that I helped you even if you are a brat," she said with a gentle smile on although her wording are still harsh.

I took the necklace and gripped it tightly; a surge of nostalgic feeling came into me. The feeling was so strong that I forget about the 'Milla-san' bad words. I felt that I hold this necklace dearly as I whispered a name, a very, _very_, dear name. Whose name was it?

I don't recognize that I was out in my own world until 'Milla-san' cleared her throat, turning my attention back to her. She then said, "I already asked Rise to enchant this necklace with your accidentally erased memory so it will get back faster. It will take effect in a short time and in massive quantity, so I alert you about killing headache you will get when you remembered. You better call people with their respectful name after that. Did you get it?" She explained briefly as she took some steps back as her legs starts disappearing.

I was completely astounded at the fact that I was in front of something that wasn't human and I was speechless. 'Milla-san' noted my expression as she said, "Your Milla is waiting for you," she said, like what she told me in my dream before.

I outstretched my hand, wanted to ask something to 'Milla-san' but before I could say something she immediately cut it, again.

"If you follow the route to my southeast, there is a Mana cave and it could subdue your pain when the memories come back. I'm going to go back to Ludger side now, so until our path cross each other again, Jude," she said softly before disappearing completely.

"Wa-wait…" I tried to hold her back; I still have a lot of question to ask. But, she disappeared as soon as she finished her sentences, leaving me no room to ask question.

I withdrew my hands and hold the necklace close to my chest. The blue orb felt so warm and ensuring, it gave me a sense of peace. I put the necklace back around my neck and looked at it, hoping to regain some memories about the necklace and that person. But, nothing came inside my mind after I wait for a little bit. If 'Milla-san' said the truth, there should be an Artes that helps recovering memory inside this necklace.

'_I guess the spell needs time to activate…_' I thought as I put the necklace below my clothes.

Deciding that I need to look for Milla-san, I go inside the house. Not so unexpectedly, the house was quiet. I don't think that voice easily seeped through the wall, but it was still quiet anyway. I guess it couldn't be helped if the one who reside here are two people that actually know each other yet the other forget about the other.

I sighed as I remembered it. I know I fell in love with Milla-san, but I don't know how deep this feeling will become as I regained my memories. What if the person inside my memories wasn't Milla-san? What should I do if that person was another person? Should I give up my feeling for Milla-san?

'_No, I don't want that either…_' my hearts told me that. I need to make sure, how deep my feeling for Milla-san is, and what about her? Milla-san was compassionate and a gentle person, I knew that. Her cooking wasn't that bad either, and she was absolutely gorgeous. Milla-san looked almost perfect that I couldn't help but wonder am I worthy of her hands?

Unconsciously I stopped in front of a room that I knew was Milla-san's. My mind panicked when I found my hand was risen up, ready to knock on the door.

But, before I could do anything else, I heard a voice from inside. The voice was heartbreaking and sounded so sad that it seeped through the door. I knew who is the owner of this voice is, and that was the only person except me here, Milla-san.

I pressed my ears to the door to eavesdrop on Milla-san word, even when I didn't intend to do it in the first place, my body moved without my command. I heard a muffled sobbing from the inside saying, "_Musee… J-Jude… he… he forget about our time… everything about me… without… trace… nothing…_" it said.

And then, it was followed by a quiet loud crying. I could sense that there wasn't only one person inside. Milla-san was with someone… someone called Musee…

As suddenly as I was warned, my head pounded painfully. It was so painful I need to use the wall as my standing. In the other side of the door, Milla-san was crying because of me. Because I forgot about her, she cried. She cried with someone called Musee…

I tried to resist groaning in pain, afraid that Milla-san and whoever it was would come outside and found me in pain like this and I'll see her face in tears. My vision was blurry and a lot of image appeared like no tomorrow, filling my thought into its full capacity.

"I… need… to…" I don't know what I was saying myself, even if I knew I need to get back to my room to hide this pain. And that's what I did even with a hellish headache on.

And without any notice, yet again, I was thrown into another trip of memory.

* * *

I saw a person that looked almost like Milla-san on some traits and the otherworldly appearance. It was the image of the Great Spirit who was the protector of Shell, Musee. One day, our path met each other and because she was weakening, I gave her my Mana. Then, she followed us for some time.

I looked around where I was. I was with someone who was with me in Ha Mir and also Elize with Tipo. Of course the Great Spirit Musee was also with us. We were in front of Zhaira abandoned church, waiting for someone. Obviously, I was watching from the sideline while the 'me' from the past do all the jobs.

I soon spot the other addition of the party which was, to my surprise, Leia and also Rowen-san. The person I thought to be important was there as well. Elize and Tipo rushed to her side, giving her a 'welcome back' hug. I looked to myself and found that my gazes soften at the sight of her. I didn't need to be a doctor just to know that was a look of love. I was in love with her.

But, before I could hear anything when Musee approached the other addition, I was thrown into another place.

* * *

There were a lot of shot that was shown to me, and even if I didn't enter it the second time, I knew what happened inside. All I could describe about the situation was Musee went crazy, and I was fighting with the King Gaius. Not in the opposite sides, although I knew our ideal clashed for a little bit that it soon might become the seed of fight even when I don't know what is my ideal and King Gaius' ideal.

I was watching in sidelines once more, as I was inside a ship that was trapped inside Musee destructive spell. My party and King Gaius party fought with Gilland and we won it. But, because of the talk about Shell, and the fact that Musee was a Great Spirit that has a job to erase anyone who wanted to disturb the Shell or anyone who knew too much about it and make it remains as a secret, we who knows too much about the Shell needs to get erased.

The person I know I loved used her life power to save us using a canon... a Jin in fact, and blasted the spell with its power. She slowly dying in front of my eyes, and I couldn't do anything. My voice at that time sent my own into despair. I couldn't hear the name I shouted over and over as I ran to her side, but… this painful feeling in this chest is real. It was as if all light in my life had died down and I'm thrown into a deep abyss.

* * *

I coughed as my vision came back to my room. I looked around me, and through my blurry vision, I saw foreign magic circle surrounding me. It's the enchantment in this necklace that was said before by 'Milla-san'.

Just one look at the magic circle, I knew that my trip wasn't over just yet. The ripples of past will affect the future I have right now. And with that in my mind, I got thrown into another long painful trip.

* * *

I saw a fight between Musee and King Gaius on the summit of Spirit Mountain in other name Ni Akeria Mountain. I knew that after the dead of my beloved, Musee went on a rampage at Elenpian soldiers. And I guess, I'm being the 'me' right now, tried to protect the Elenpian.

I faintly remembered that the reason I was in the Mt. Ni Akeria was to look for The Spirit of Origin Maxwell. No, not the Origin Maxwell, but the _real_ Maxwell. I don't know why but I just did.

The time skipped a little bit and I saw my beloved was right there beside me, alive, somehow. But, I, well, we, had a problem. The thing about King Gaius and my ideal was different clashed each other and it make an obvious fight between us about who is right. I know that we both are right, but because the method was different, we couldn't help but clash.

I saw Musee flew from a weapon I remembered as the Kresnik Spear, the same Jin that my beloved used to save everyone using her life power, and trap Maxwell (the old man) in it while saying something I don't quiet catch on. After that King Gaius withdraw a long powerful looking swords from Musee chest and when he swings it to our way, we almost got blown off into somewhere, well, not, since Maxwell opened a portal for us to run to.

The view of that time changed into a new one as I was only with my beloved fighting our ideals with Gaius and Musee ideal. We won it and they accepted our full of possibility future, the research of Origin that I still do right now.

The time rippled once more and I saw Musee again, with different attire. I saw myself like how I was right now. The time should have moved a year to the future and I was with someone else, a man with white hair and a little girl with loud voice. (**Rina: for me, an annoying little brat**)

All I know that Musee was looking for someone and she was quite frantic at that. I did get the name of the white haired man and the little girl, Ludger and Elle.

* * *

I ran out of breath when my memory got cut short once again. I was lying on the bed while clutching the poor sheet until it was crumpled. I don't feel what happened when I was thrown into the memory train, but I knew that it hurts me physically.

"Elize… Tipo… Rowen-san… Leia… Musee… Ludger… Elle… the Fauves… King Gaius…" I mentioned the name appeared inside my memory softly.

I couldn't believe I knew a lot of people just by the time span of two years. The discovery lit my candle of curiosity and I wanted to remember more. It might led me to the name of my beloved person, the one who gave me this necklace, and find my answer did I still love her until this time.

'_Wait for me… Milla-san…'_

* * *

Well, that's it for this chapter. I'm a sadistic person and I wanted to see Jude in pain a little bit in my story XD. Anyway, from this point on, there will be a lot of memory trip and stronger Milla. I swear this was the last time she cried out of sadness, since I hate it too~

**Anyway, if you want to give me some review, then go ahead, but if you don't, I don't mind it at all~**


	18. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: It's obvious I don't have Tales of Xillia, because it was properties of Bandai Namco.**

Finally, some space to breathe some good and fresh air! The competition was hard and all, but I really like it when it was over after I do my best in it. Oh well, maybe you don't know what I was talking about, so I'll tell it in one simple sentence. I'm doing Chemistry Olympiad and that was the reason why I went missing for a long time~

Anyway, since I'm done with it, another mountain full of job is pilling right in front of me. Err; I'm rambling again aren't I? I'm sorry so **please give me some review and critique if I make a mistake in grammar since I'm not a native speaker**.

**Note:**

"…abc…"** : Normal talking**

"…_abc…_" :** Whispering, past talk, and far away sounds (so if it was in 1****st**** POV, eavesdrop)**

'…_abc_…' :** Heart talk, telepathy, that kind of stuff**

* * *

**Musee POV**

* * *

I examined Milla's exhausted face when she was sleeping on my laps comfortably. I stroked her soft silk-like hair as I tried to process the information that I got fro her just now. It was quite shocking even for me to handle, I don't know how Milla cooped with it for days.

First was Jude. From how Milla described the condition, he was in good health and able to do things normally now. But, the problem was with his memory. If he didn't remember meeting Milla before, then most likely his memory of their journey was the one that got erased since he remembered anyone he meet after that. Milla didn't know how much of it had returned, but she did mention about some headache that Jude got in two days.

From what I learned from some of Milla's book that I read during my free time, that kind of symptom meant that his memory was returning bit by bit. It was normal since he forgot quite a lot. I wonder who he had remembered by now, at the very least, he didn't get the one about Milla yet.

'_How dare he make Milla cry… even if he was Jude, it STILL unforgivable! I'm so going to blast him from this world… wait, that will make Milla sad even more… grrr, what should I do?_' my heart had been arguing nonstop about what should I do. Even if time did past, I guess I still had that psychopathic side inside of me. I didn't deny it since it was still the part of me, but I tried to minimize it as much as I can.

Suddenly, I felt Arte activation nearby and by it I meant really near. I also noticed the pattern as one of the unique kind that was owned by the Record spirit. Don't tell me, even Origin told Rise to do something… but then, she was so loyal it's almost scary to Milla and Jude. She might realize that something is wrong with them. It's not that her ability is completely useless, but it won't change the condition in near future.

I decided to take a look and carefully lifted Milla from my laps and laid her on the bed. She purred a little, but I knew that she was still deep in sleep. Even after she became the Lord of Spirit, she was still a deep sleeper but I keep it a secret from the other. After all, spirit isn't a being that have a state of sleeping like human, I actually wonder how Milla managed it.

I used my spirit form to pass through the wall and began looking for the source. Only in a few minutes, the magical reaction disappeared into thin air, meaning that the Arte has ended. I'm quite glad that I had a big amount of Mana to track its remaining and made it lead me to the source.

If there is an expression of surprise more than shocked, maybe that was what I would look like right now. I ended up in a room not too familiar to me, but someone in the room was familiar to me. The person was no other than Jude Mathis and he breathed heavily on the bed as if he was in pain.

His bed sheet was crumpled, and the room was practically in a mess. It was obvious that the one who set this arte is Rise the Record spirit for Milla and Jude. Does it mean that Jude memory was forcefully restored? Was it a full one or partial one?

Then I heard him whispered, "Elize… Tipo… Rowen-san… Leia… Musee… Ludger… Elle… the Fauves… King Gaius…" Jude whispered in a low tone as he buried his face to the sheet, not knowing that I was there at all. It's not like he can see me in my spirit form, but still, it's Jude we are talking about, he could sense Milla is near even if he couldn't meet her directly, so he should have sensed me.

"Milla… san…" he mumbled once again.

I have a hard time guessing which Milla he talked about. But, Milla told me that he didn't call her with her name and most likely Jude didn't remember about the other Milla, so maybe he talked about my Milla. I remembered that Jude used to speak about Milla almost everytime that some of us (mainly Leia who was jealous) dub it as 'Milla this and Milla that'. Does it mean that even when his memory erased, he still had that habit? So ironic…

'_With or without memory, all he talked about is Milla… geez, just where is the end of his love for Milla? Shouldn't he know Milla for just a day after his memory lost?_' I thought as I approached him.

From all I can see, Jude is obviouly okay and in good health. That's all I care about for him, but I wanted to test to what extend his memory return…

I summoned myself in front of him and even when I don't really like it, I landed my feet on the land before walking closer. Geez, I'm not Milla who liked to walk around even when she could fly easily! But if Jude's memory of me wasn't fully returned, it will be a problem later.

I poked my fingers on his cheek, not really embarrassed by my action. Well, Jude never minded when I'm being overly close, but Gaius will have this deadly glare to Jude. So since I still care about my dearest sister love interest, I tried to not do it so often.

"Juuuudeeeeee~" I called him with long vocal purposefully. I'm annoyed because he didn't respond to it as soon as I wanted it to. I know I have a thin patience.

Jude purred a little as he opened his eyes a little bit. His gaze looked blank and I knew how it would be for Milla to have the ever so kind Jude looking at her blankly with no emotion to her. I couldn't imagine how painful it will be when Gaius looking at me like that either.

I poked his cheek some more until Jude face turned over me. I smiled as I try to not grinning mischievously as I said, "Who am I?" with almost singing tune. Sorry, it's a habit of mine.

Jude blinked a few times and everytime he did, the speed became a little bit faster. When he noticed that there was a person in front of him, he literally jumped from his position and had his back on the wall as he looked at me with surprised expression.

"M-M-M-Musee?!" Jude said, obviously surprised at my appearance.

Well, actually it was me who should be surprised since he was supposed to lose his memory of the journey. Could this mean that his memory about me had restored already? I guess I have nothing to hide now since he must have remembered that I am a Spirit so I floated once more.

"Nice to see you energetic after you thrash the poor bed like that~ are you thinking dirty thing?" I jokingly said. I know the real reason already since I sensed the Arte activation. Rise ways of doing things are quite rough after all despite her goody-goody innocent face.

Jude face quickly turns red as he said, well, shouted, "N-NO, I'M NOT!" with crimson colored face, meaning that he was embarrassed. How cute.

I laughed heartily and floated behind him. He still had the trace of Jude that I know of and it is good to know that. And now for the memory test…

"Jude, what happened to you? This place was practically nowhere you know~" I cheerfully said.

First, I wanted to test how good he fares about the whole incident and amnesia thing. But, knowing Jude maybe he was quite calm about stuff, but who know what an amnesia could do to a person.

Jude looked over me with crimson colored face before saying, "I-it's… I got into a train accident and Milla-san found me in the wood, somehow. And then she brought me here and treated my injury while she calls for a help. But, I don't really think that was the real case…" Jude answered with his expression became dire as he moved from one word to other.

I sat on the edge of the bed, thinking about Jude story. As expected of Jude, he was sharp. Maybe he didn't know exactly what happened but he was already suspicious about Milla side of the story that she told him. Milla _**did **_lie to him after all.

Indeed, that one wasn't the one happened in reality. Milla went all of her way using massive recovery arte, almost losing her human form in the process, just to save him from certain death. And then she lost consciousness and got some help from Leah, who found them in the forest. Leah treated their injury and also gave them lodging before going to Gaius. That Leah actually wasn't a bad person in the end…

But, as I think about things thoroughly, I felt Jude gazes over me. I turned to him just to find that he was looking at me with almost menacing expression. I only blinked to him because I don't really understand why he did that.

Jude opened his mouth slightly before closing it again, hesitating I guess. But he took some deep breath after that before saying, "Musee… I remembered about Elize, Tipo, and you completely. I saw Leia, Rowen, King Gaius, and the Fauves as well inside my memory from when I was in medical school. But, there were two shadows that I don't know of. Will you care gives me their name?" he said with serious face.

I blinked a few times more with mouth wide open. He already remembered that much? As expected of Record Arte… she is really the master on memory manipulation. But, should I tell him about Alvin and Milla? Was it a good thing to let him know that he hurt Milla a lot just by being here?

As if Jude was responding to my inner confusion, he said, "I know… I had hurt Milla-san from forgetting her… that's why I wanted to make sure that we ever met before! I hate it when she cried! I know that we just meet, but…" he said with a dropped expression.

I looked at him almost pitifully, almost. It's a good thing he realized that he hurt my beloved sister until she cried in front of me. Milla never cried in front of anyone out of sadness _**ever**_. But again, I sensed something entirely different than guilt in his tone. It sounded like he was actually _care _about Milla until he gladly went through the pain of memory recovering arte. Don't tell me…

"Jude, do you fall in love with Milla?" I looked at Jude with a guess that most likely have a positive answer without even answering his initial question.

Jude face immediately turned red once more. He opened his mouth and closed it frantically for a lot of times, trying to say something coherent. But he couldn't make something like a sentence and all that was out from his throat was some jumbled and nonsensical words.

"I-I… M-Milla-san… n-no… I-I mean… b-but… M-Musee!" Jude stuttered with completely embarrassed expression and flushed face. His honesty never ceases to amaze me.

I let out a deep breath after hearing the though not coherent answer, but still, it was a positive answer at that. Even when he lost his memory, he still falls in love with Milla like he never lost his memory. The expression, the gesture, everything was the same like before but he became more blunt at it.

_Well, I guess Jude is Jude in the end._

* * *

I really amused at Musee remark in this. I like Musee inner part quite well and how her words are complete opposite of her mind. But I guess Musee became a little bit calmer here~ Hehehe~

Anyway, I just noticed that I repeat this line in the top and in the bottom but forgive me, kay? Now that it was out of the way **please Review!**

_**Notice: Usually I will create Milla side in the next chapter, but the next was exception since it will be Jude side**_


	19. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: It's obvious I don't have Tales of Xillia, because it was properties of Bandai Namco.**

And then, the chapter 18 is out! Oh no, oh no, oh no, why the story still in this stage even when it already reach 18th chapter?! I wonder will the story ended in 7 chapters again? Geez, I hope this will end soon… not that I wanted it to end, but still…

Anyway, forget my rambling and let's go on to the story! Oh, anyway, **please give me some review and critique if I make a mistake in grammar since I'm not a native speaker**.

**Note:**

"…abc…"** : Normal talking**

"…_abc…_" :** Whispering, past talk, and far away sounds (so if it was in 1****st**** POV, eavesdrop)**

'…_abc_…' :** Heart talk, telepathy, that kind of stuff**

* * *

**Jude POV**

* * *

I looked down to hide obviously my blushing face from Musee eyes. I do know that I feel something for Milla-san in the line of 'love', but what about the person that I loved in my memory? Was Milla-san and that person is the same person? Or were they a completely different person?

"Well, it couldn't be helped if you fall in love with Milla… I'm just surprised at the speed of your memory recovery that you even remembered me this fast. Do you care to explain?" Musee said with an expression that changed from a little bit mischievous at first into a more serious expression.

I looked to the side and tried to sort my mind before answering. Musee was somehow patient at waiting for my response, very different from what I remembered. Maybe this past 4 years had made her became more mature?

I let out a deep breath before saying, "Milla-san… I mean not the Milla-san who was in the other room! It's a different person with the same name, okay?!" I started my story but cut it in the middle to remind Musee that I talked about a different person.

Musee has this look that was a mix of surprised and wondering when I mentioned about the other 'Milla-san' as if she knew about it. Even without me asking did she really know who I mentioned, Musee said, "I have a feeling that you meet someone but to know that girl was the one who did… anyway, continue," Musee said with a serious expression on her face.

I wanted to ask further about what she knew about the new Milla-san, but I didn't since she was more interested on my further explanation.

I pulled out my necklace and showed it to Musee who recognized the thing as well from her looks before I continue my explanation.

"Well… 'Milla-san' meets me just at the outside of this house. She came here to deliver my necklace that was said to be brought by a slow familiar. She also said that she asked someone called Rise to enchant the necklace with my memory so it will come back at a faster rate but more painful way. That's all I guess…" I explained all that I can manage to remember to Musee.

Musee floated around me with her gaze fixated on the necklace. I was obviously uncomfortable since Musee gives me this weird aura that emanated from her movement.

Musee backed away for a little bit before saying, "So that's why I felt that girl signature Mana from the Artes activation and it _did_ fasten the memory recovery. It was something remarkable though a little bit forceful. But more importantly do you want to remember what you forgot Jude? You can always make a new memory instead you know," Musee said with a deadly glare to me. I don't know did I make her mad or not.

I looked down, unable to make eye contact with Musee. I thought it was normal to want to remember anything that I forgot. But, the way Musee said it made it sounds like I better forget it all for some reason.

I know Musee is right about making a new memory, but I have another reason other than just remembering. I wanted to make sure about my feeling for that person, so I can set myself on the present. And also, I don't want to see Milla-san sad face anymore.

"I wanted to remember… no matter how painful it is. If this can make Milla-san stopped crying behind me and smile a happy smile… I don't care what happened to me," I answered honestly to Musee.

Musee gave me another glare but it quickly soften as she said, "Well, if that's what you decided I'm going to help you out. Do you know how to activate the Artes?" Musee said with a gentle gaze.

I was caught in surprise when Musee mentioned it. I changed into a deep thinking pace to search for any clue. My memory recovery was random if anything. And I don't know how the Artes that was used to recover my memory was activated. But then I remembered something from a book.

"Normally, memory recovery method was through the meeting or the name of the forgotten thing… I remembered about Elize and Tipo when Milla-san healed my legs and mentioning that she was good in Healing Artes. And then I remembered that I brought someone to Lu Rondo to meet my father when I saw a wheelchair," I explained in a matter of fact tone.

Musee nodded her head before saying, "Hmm… that has some logic in it. Anyway the Artes activated just recently and it was the memory of my existence in your life. How you remember me? Let me fix that, how do you know about my name?" Musee said with an interested expression.

When Musee asked, I swear I became pale at how I get her trigger. Because I was practically eavesdropping on Milla-san! I can't tell her that no matter what!

"I-it's… I accidently heard it and then I get a painful headache… just like that," I tried to say it with a calm tone but I guess my response was shaky and barely accepted at most. I hope Musee didn't detect that I know a little bit more than that.

Musee looked at me with thinned eyes, completely suspicious about my answer. She then said, "Then, let me try it then… Lance of Kresnik, a Jin that used people Mana to fuel the device before releasing it as a focused beam, and we, spirit, really, _really_, hate it," Musee said with the same expression.

I felt some headache and winced in pain but it was different because it soon disappeared. It disappeared without giving me any image or anything that was classified as memory. I did saw small magic circle though it disappeared as soon as it appeared.

Musee was obviously angered at this as she said, "Why? Why it didn't work with me? Did my power lacking?! Geez, why Rise didn't acknowledge me! She really has some problem with her complex!" she said though it sounded more like she was venting out her frustration.

I don't know what I should do at the time and only looking at Musee funny action like how I remembered her. I remembered that I felt the pain when I heard Musee name, but why it didn't work now? And moreover, why Musee mentioned Lance of Kresnik of all things?

Musee then glared at me with a pout on her face. I swear the glare sent shivers down to my spine that I released cold sweat. I don't really know was it just a feeling or not, but having to deal with a Great Spirit sounded like a bad idea.

Musee leaned her face to mine so close if I move for a little bit our li-… face might crash each other when she says, "Tell me who said my name that trigger the Artes right now Jude," she said with threatening face.

I don't know should I be glad with the question or not.

I looked away from Musee who dangerously leaning in that my hearts began thumping very loudly. I inhaled sharply when Musee demanded, "Answer me this instant Jude," she said scarily.

I backed away some more until I met the wall on my back meaning that I don't have any more room to run away. Stuttering in the process, I somehow muttered, "I-it's… i-it's from… Mi-" but I couldn't mutter the continuation when I realized something.

Musee looked at me with a sharp glare full of curiosity. I diverted my gaze from her since I just realized something important. It was that whenever I regained a memory, there is always someone that was there beside me. It was almost foolish for me to realize it right now that the person always show me what I forgot, said it to me, and made me feel the same feeling once more.

Musee was impatient when she said, "Come on Jude! Who is this 'Mi' person?" she said with a very annoyed expression.

I only looked down since I felt that actually the key to my memory was right there in front of me, but I always hesitate on taking it. The very person that made me wanted to regain my memory was also the trigger for it.

"I heard your name from Milla-…" before I even managed to complete my sentence, I was surprised by the sound of the door opening.

I and Musee spontaneously looked at the door and I found myself shocked like I just saw a ghost at the person there. The said person mimicked my expression as the eyes looked at me and then to Musee who was practically on top of me and her face dangerously close to mine.

That person opened her mouth to form a voice but it didn't come out and instead it was closed as her gaze was fixated on me with a saddening expression. It looked like she was being betrayed on and it pierced my heart painfully.

I shoved Musee from the top of me while desperately saying, "I-I… Musee and I didn't do anything like whatever you are thinking Milla-san!" I said while trying to balance myself to stand by her side.

That person, Milla-san, only looked at me with an emotionless expression that I never know of. When I saw it, it felt like I was being rejected by her. The always kind and gentle Milla-san looked like she wanted to get away from me this instant.

She let out a deep breath as she holds my arm and said, "I don't get what you are talking about Jude. And I guess I need to congratulate you since you remembered about someone that you know of well. I only come in to say that I'm not going to send the food to your room and we can eat with each other in the dining room," Milla-san said with a straight though empty eye.

She then sent a look at Musee before leaving me. I don't know why I felt that it wasn't the first time that I see her back looked so far away and just the sight shattered my feeling into pieces.

'_Milla-san…_'

* * *

I don't know what I just write right now. And yeah, the trigger is related to Milla and our Jude just realized it around now. And by Rise, it's just my OC name that I set to live in Xillia story as a Spirit that record event for Origin way on gaining information. In her case, she recorded both Milla and Jude life story so she has an access to both of their memory, hence the memory recovery artes.

Since her masters are both Milla and Jude (except Origin), she always obey any of their wishes since she used their power to sustain her physical appearance. Rise is also overly polite to both of them calling them with '-Sama' as the suffix. I honestly had a lot of fun drawing her and giving her personality since she was flat out weird LOL. Just imagine her as a kid who stubbornly sticks around Jude and Milla with the height around Elize but with Tsundere face though she is a big crybaby.

**Anyway, if you want to, please Review!**


	20. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: It's obvious I don't have Tales of Xillia, because it was properties of Bandai Namco.**

Honestly I don't actually think that Milla will reject Jude like that. But, Musee was being a little bit too far, so I guess Milla getting mad at it was quite normal, especially since she was just talking about her feeling to her sister. Or maybe, Milla decided to let go but then, who knows? And let's see how Jude made Milla do the magic word for him~

Oh yeah, if you wondered why the sudden disappearance of me from the fandom, I shall answer it here and also in case you checked my status on profile, I also wrote it there. You see, I'm currently replaying Tales of Eternia (or Destiny 2 in North America release) and because of my hate for leaving thing half done, I end up not writing anything after chapter 21… so well, the update got delayed. I'm sorry for that; it's a miss on my part.

Now that I was done rambling, **I hope for some review and if anyone sees some grammar mistake, please point it out to me because English isn't my first or second language.**

**#I won't use the change in NA release for this story, but I might just change it in my newest fanfic. Well, after all I liked Musee more than Muzét.**

**Note:**

"…abc…"** : Normal talking**

"…_abc…_" :** Whispering, past talk, and far away sounds (so if it was in 1****st**** POV, eavesdrop)**

'…_abc_…' :** Heart talk, telepathy, that kind of stuff**

* * *

**Milla POV**

* * *

I felt bad for talking to Jude like that and even walked off from his room, but I can't help but get ticked off. I know that my sister is beautiful and all and maybe even more beautiful than me, but to see them so close like that… I guess it was the feeling of jealousy.

I walked outside the house and watching the rain that starts falling from the darkening sky. I never hated rain but for the first time, I felt that the rain mirrored what I felt right now. Actually, the thought was quite refreshing and good to clear my head.

In the first place, why I wanted to get to Jude's room anyway? The reason that I said to him was actually on whim since I don't really have a concrete reason to see him. I did want to find my sister since when I woke up, she was nowhere in sight but I wonder why I walked straight to Jude's room, it's not like Jude would remember her at that time.

'_But again, Jude recognized Musee when I entered the room. I wonder how much he had remembered. But he didn't call me with my name yet, so the memory of me is still missing,_' I thought as I watched the rain.

I let out a deep breath and hugged myself in desperate of warmth. Why Jude remembered about Musee but not me? Why I'm feeling so bad like this? Ever since I came here, all I felt is something so human that it embarrass myself.

"But, Musee love Gaius and not Jude. All her closeness to Jude is only because of her cheerful personality. And again, she also supported me and said that she had known it all along. I wonder why I felt jealous like that… there is absolutely no reason for me to do that…" I said to myself, half scolding myself yet again for being foolish.

I took a deep breath before letting it out once more. All I can do for Jude right now is remaining the way I was like the past two days and end it as painlessly as possible for both of us. I just need to act normal in front of Jude…

I decided to get inside and face the present, when something, or rather, someone, crashed on me in a full power that I lost my balance and fell back to the wooden floor below. I winced in pain when my back met with the floor but decided to suck it inside without letting it out.

I opened my eyes to find that the certain someone now was pinning me on the floor with his body completely covering mine. Without looking to me, he said, "Don't… don't disappear… don't… go…" he said desperately. Even if I was blindfolded, I'll know that the one who crashed into me was Jude.

I looked at Jude with a wide eye though I was crushed with his weight. I don't understand why Jude said that but I was somehow happy that Jude didn't want me to leave. I wanted to grip his body tightly and persuading him that I would never leave, but I reconsidered it. Because, no matter what happened, I'll leave. So, instead I hugged him lightly before whispering, "How silly…" I whispered.

Jude only hugged me tightly without letting me go. He didn't even return back my words and stayed silent. I guess I made him worry again…

"Just… don't go, please stay…" he said softly once more.

I sighed as I buried my face on his broad chest. I don't want to go either. I don't want to leave but… at least, for now I'll stay. I swear to not shed my tears even once in front of Jude; at least I don't want it to be out of sadness.

'_I'll protect you…_'

* * *

Right now, I and Jude were inside the dining room for the first time. Musee had told me that she had some business to do, and she actually apologized at her interruption. I had make peace with her and she promised to visit me again tomorrow until Gaius, Rowen, and also the help reach this place and most likely it will be the day after tomorrow.

Jude had been quiet after he suddenly came to me and hugged me. But, neither had I said a word about it. The only sound that happened between our, quite awkward, silences was the sound of me cooking in the kitchen that was connected with the dining room, the sounds of rains outside and our breathing.

I cooked randomly without thinking about anything. I had quite a pride on my cooking after the past days so I read the cooking book lesser than before, after all I learnt fast. To be honest, I was quite glad that I still got to cook even after Jude had recovered, because somehow the action distracts my mind quite nicely.

After I was done with my cooking, I put two plates of the foods on the tables. One of it was for Jude and the other was for me even though I don't really need it. But if I also ate with Jude, I can escape from the prospect of feeding Jude. It's not that I minded but…

I spun my spoon on my food as I wait for Jude to eat his. But he didn't do it and instead said, "Milla-san… are you mad at me?" he asked quietly.

I was surprised at the question since all I felt before was jealousy over Musee. There is no way I can get mad at Jude. And we never really have a serious fight to the point of hate. We never bickered as long as I can remember even.

"Why should I? You had done nothing to make me mad," I answered a little bit playfully as I took a spoon of my own plate and ate it. It wasn't bad for my cooking and I can eat it just fine even when I don't really need it.

Jude looked up to me with surprised face before saying, "But at the time with Musee… Milla-san was mad… that's why you get out right?" he said with a surprised yet guilty tone.

I looked away at the mention. There is no way I tell him that I was jealous of Musee who he had remembered. All of Jude's recovery is a good thing but I don't want to tell him to just remember me and me alone. It's pretty selfish of me to do that. If I have to choose even, I guess it will be better if he forgot about all things already.

"No, I was surprised that you had remembered Musee… and it was actually a good progress. Now that I'm talking about it, how much did you remember?" I answered while trying to mask my own inner turmoil.

Jude had a pretty glad face as I said the first part. He then took a spoon of his food before answering my question.

"Elize and Tipo, and the most recent one, Musee… I also briefly remembered about the Fauves, King Gaius, Prime Minister Rowen, and also Leia… there are two shadows that were still too blurry for me to remember. I also remembered briefly about Ludger and Elle. Ah, and there is Lulu too! Well, I had an allergy to cat though…" Jude answered almost cheerfully especially when he mentioned Lulu even when he knew that he had something against cat.

I smiled at the mention. Jude had beginning to remember about the journey even with his image of me and Alvin was still blurry. But from how he mentioned about Gaius and Rowen, he still didn't know about the incident in Karlha Schall and Khan Baliq or even the one in Urs Kharla.

Jude then resumed his eating with a grateful smile. But, I saw that he was actually frowning at my food. At the sight of it, I asked, "Is something wrong with my cooking? Did you hate it?" I asked curiously and pretty much concerned. Did I insert something wrong?

Jude looked up and quickly shook his head while saying, "No, it's not like that! It was just that now I can eat by myself… I can't ask Milla-san to feed me," he quickly denies.

I blushed at his words but quickly mask it by saying, "You are too direct…" I said softly as I ate my own food, half of the sentence was directed to me. Actually I was surprised that my cooking can get this good in the first place.

Jude looked down and ate in silence once more. I did the same and resumed my eating. Even if it was quite awkward, we had a good meal together.

As I took Jude's plate with mine to the kitchen so I can wash it, Jude asked, "I wanted to ask this since before but… why Milla-san knew a lot about Spirit? And then, how come Milla-san knew about Musee?" Jude asked with serious tone.

I had a goosebump at the question. I know Jude was observant, but for him to ask me directly like that… it was quite nerving. And moreover, I don't know how to answer him without revealing my identities as the Lord of Spirit.

"Well…" I tried to answer but decided to not to, yet. I washed the plate with the kitchen sink (I was surprised when I found that this place had one) while thinking a little bit more about how to answer Jude's question. It's not that I can't answer, but how to deceive him while keeping my identity in dark was quite hard. Actually, I hate deceiving Jude like this.

I guess Jude was quite impatient with me as he said, "If Milla-san can't answer it… I wanted to use my own theory… will you hear it?" Jude said with a serious tone it almost sent shiver down to my spine. Was this Jude was the one who hugged me tightly before and begged me to not leave?

I silently nodded as I busying myself with the kitchen work, not even glanced on Jude's way.

"First… Milla-san was too unfamiliar with this place that it was impossible for you to live here… I don't know how come you are here at the first place yet but… this place isn't yours isn't it?" Jude said with a confidence and suspiciousness that was scary.

I stayed silent though Jude did say the right thing. It's more like, I don't know what to expect on revealing myself. If he knew about what is my true nature, our parting will be even more painful.

"And then, I learned it from my memory of Elize. Even if Tipo is her friend, Tipo was actually a booster; hence it made Elize Healing Artes so powerful. But Milla-san easily uses a Healing Artes in Elize rank without any trouble. I thought it was because Milla-san was a good Artes user, but I didn't see Milla-san doing Artes so often. That's why I thought you have a condition to use big Artes," Jude said as he continued his own theory.

It's not that I'm a bad Artes user; I was just not in a good shape to waste Mana like that. If I did that carelessly, not only that I will lose my physical appearance but also I might disturb the flow of Mana in this place. But I stayed silent and keep those as my own inner monologue. After all, the last thing I want for Jude to know is the fact that I am Maxwell.

"And Milla-san knew too much about Spirit and also even knows Musee who is a Great Spirit. It is impossible for human to get that kind of privilege easily. But, Milla-san knew about Musee and also the story of spirit," Jude said again while eyeing me suspiciously I can feel his sharp gaze on my back. I started to hope that my grip on the plate isn't strong enough to shatter it into pieces.

I sensed Jude was walking closer to me who stayed silent in front of the kitchen sink. I inhaled a deep breath on what to come. I don't know what to do if Jude actually knows about my identity. I need to deny everything and make up an excuse.

Jude gripped my wrist and forcing me to look to him when he said, "Milla-san… tell me," he said with a stern tone and serious face.

I need to deny… I need to deny anything he suspects… for Jude sake…

There was a slight pause when Jude asked me a favor and when he said, "…Are you a spirit?" he asked with confidence that he wasn't wrong.

My eyes widened at the mention even if I didn't face him directly right now. What excuse should I say? What should I do? If I confirmed his suspicion, Jude will get injured again… all because of his link with me.

I need to protect him… I need to protect Jude from harm… even if it was distaning him from me… That is my love for him. My unchanging eternal love…

* * *

And that's it for this chapter. Wait, WTF?! Well, I guess I type that one without really thinking. But I guess it will be good to see how Milla will react at it. So, I'll let that be. Anyway, **if you want to support this story to go on even longer, please review!**


	21. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: It's obvious I don't have Tales of Xillia, because it was properties of Bandai Namco.**

Yeah, now this story hit the count of 20! When I think about it, this series did last quite long and even after it reaches this number, the end was quite dark (usually my story almost end when it reach 20 or end in that count). And here we are talking about events that passed in more or less three days. I really hit my imagination quite good. If this was over, I guess I'll take a long rest over the week or maybe month.

Anyway, from the chapter before, we get that Jude suspect Milla to be a spirit (in truth she is one) but Milla seems reluctant to reveal herself. So let's begin the denial and will Jude remain firm at his suspicion or will he drop it down? Check this chapter out and **if you want to please review and point out my mistake in Grammar**~

**Note:**

"…abc…"** : Normal talking**

"…_abc…_" :** Whispering, past talk, and far away sounds (so if it was in 1****st**** POV, eavesdrop)**

'…_abc_…' :** Heart talk, telepathy, that kind of stuff**

**#For once, this chapter will contain Jude side and also Milla side of the story~**

* * *

**Jude POV**

* * *

Milla-san didn't face me or do anything in particular as I asked her whether she was a spirit or not and it only grew my suspicion. Milla-san took a deep breath before letting it out as if she was sighing. She pulled her hands from my grips before taking the plate she just washed to its appropriate place.

"Milla-san, please answer me," I said in serious tone. I don't know why I pursue this matter right now. I had my suspicion, yes, but why I asked it now? Well, I felt like if Milla-san is actually a spirit I can actually remember something about her.

Milla-san turned her heels to face me. Her beautiful magenta eyes that sparkled under the dim lighting of this place were locked with mine. She looked mad as she took some steps to get nearer to me.

"Jude, I can't confirm it for you since you don't even remember me. But, it's true that I'm not from this place and I'm not this place owner either. And for the Artes, I didn't use it more often since it drained my energy and also the Mana of the land," Milla-san said with a heavy tone as if she didn't want to say it to me.

I looked down at Milla-san (literally) before asking, "Then, who is the real owner of this place and why you are here. If you don't mind it, please answer some of my question as well," I said with an obstinate tone. I don't want to back of this argument either. I need to know more about Milla-san. I love her; I know I really love her. That's why I wanted to know for sure who I really love right now. Is it Milla-san or my beloved who I didn't even remember the face.

Milla sighed before crossing her arms in a thoughtful manner. She walked past me while saying, "It's uncomfortable to talk while we stand like this. Let's talk in your room instead," Milla-san said with a small voice as if whispering.

I looked back and found Milla-san walking to the direction of my room. Realizing that finally Milla-san will tell me something made me want to know more. I run to catch up with Milla-san as we were going to my room.

* * *

Milla-san calmly sat on my bedside and I sat beside her. She didn't glance to me even just once and I don't have any courage to ask her. The room was dead silent and the only sound breaking it was the sound of the rain outside. I don't usually felt like this even though I don't hate rain, but right now the rain felt so comforting.

I snapped out from my mind when I heard Milla-san said, "Jude, you ask who the owner of this place is and why I was here in the first place, right? I thought that it will disturb the flow of thing, but right now I felt that it won't do any harm to tell you that. So I'll at least tell you that," Milla-san said with her eyes looking straight to front, not even glancing to my direction.

"Yes… will you tell me?" I said repeating my question. I knew that by the way Milla-san said it, what I will learn now won't help me revealing her real identities. But, even if it was insignificant, it might have any meaning.

Milla-san nodded before saying, "This place owner has the name of Leah. She is a hunter and also a beast tamer moreover she also has a tiger as her assistance. I was supposed to visit a dear friend of mine… no, saying it like that wasn't correct at all, I wanted to meet with the one I love. He was a very, _very_, dear person of mine. That's why I felt so much pain in my chest right now," she said with a very soft expression.

Hearing that made something pierced my chest. To hear that Milla-san has someone she loves… it was so painful when I'm in love with her and now sat very close with her.

"Anyway, on my way there was a landslide and it involves the train as well. I was shocked because it happened almost in front of my eyes and you are there as well, I can sense your presence to be more precise. And then I saw you lying outside the site unconscious and was hurt so badly. Without thinking, I used all of my Mana and the site Mana to heal you and also the train passenger who were trapped inside. I'm sorry I couldn't save the other except you at the time, Jude. That's the reason why I couldn't do any strong Artes so often," Milla-san said with a stressed expression.

I was shocked at the mention, and quickly said, "Then, how were the other passengers well being right now? Don't tell me I'm the only one remaining…" I said with an almost horrified expression. To think that the whole train was dead and buried under the earth right now was terrifying. I felt even worst since the accident actually slipped out of my mind completely.

Milla-san shook her head a little bit before saying, "No, right now they are still alive. At least until help comes from Rieze Maxia two days more due to my big Artes and Musee help. More than that count, I don't know anymore. And then about Musee, my origin was Ni Akeria and she came there very often. I didn't have blood related family and people in Ni Akeria were like family to me but we didn't really felt like a family. Musee felt that hole for me and we were like siblings with Musee being the older one. I heard a lot about spirits from Musee as well," Milla-san said with a soft smile on as if she was glad as well that she could be of assistance and also the thought of Musee as her sister.

I was glad that people in the train were safe and directed my thinking to Milla-san once more. She answered it so soundly it didn't sound like a lie at all. But, even if I usually believe what I heard, right now I couldn't really believe what Milla-san had said. Something in my heart tells me that it wasn't the case at all and Milla-san said all of them because of an unspeakable condition.

Milla-san looked at me with a small smile before saying, "Anyway you can see that I'm standing on the ground right? Spirit usually prefers to float around like how Musee is rather than mimicking human. Musee said it was so troublesome when they could fly instead," Milla-san said with a small smile and her legs swaying a little bit as if to point out her words.

I can't believe it… even when Milla-san words are right, I can't bring myself to believe it. There is no way that Milla-san is a human, she is a spirit… a spirit… why I think like this?

I closed my eyes forcefully as I tried to regain any memories of why I believe that Milla-san is a spirit. There must be some memory that made me believe that she is a spirit. If Milla-san is a spirit… how we met before and why I can see her right now? Spirit, especially lesser Spirit couldn't be seen with human eyes right? If Milla-san is a Spirit I should have can't see her right?

Suddenly Musee's voice echoed inside my mind. I remember what she had said when she tried to activate the Artes. It might trigger something inside my mind! After all, I also remembered about Musee because Milla said her name to me before! If Milla-san said it again, it just might trigger something…

"Kresnik Spear… a Jin… do you know about it Milla-san?" I said to Milla-san who froze at the mention. I know she recognized it by the way she acted.

Milla-san quickly glanced to my side before saying, "Y-you remembered about the Jin… Kresnik Spear incident… that Mana absorbing, man killer Jin… that has the power to break through the Shell…" Milla-san said with a wavering voice.

When Milla-san said the word 'Kresnik Spear', 'Jin', and also 'Shell', I felt a killing headache surfacing from the back of my head. My vision started to turn into a blur and I couldn't support my body any longer. From my disappearing consciousness, I could hear Milla-san's voice calling my name…

"_Jude… Jude… Jude… Jude?!_"

Hearing how she desperately calling my name made my hearts felt so light. Despite the truth she has someone who she loves, she still cares about me. Milla-san… Milla-san… I… about you, I…

_I love you_

* * *

**Milla POV**

* * *

I was shocked, no that was an understatement, horrified when I saw Jude fell from his position and landed on the floor with a loud sound. It took me a few minutes to realize that Jude had fallen with wide eyes. I was scared that Jude will die and there is something that I forgot to heal from him. He didn't even remember me yet.

I stumbled on my feet as I tried to reach Jude's body. I know my hands trembled as I reached for his unmoving body. But, a mixed feeling soon forced its way inside my head when I heard Jude screamed as if he was in pain.

"Jude… Jude… Jude… Jude?!" I called his name repeatedly as I tried to calm his trembling body.

It was weird, I swear Jude had no illness as I treat him to health. But, right now he was in so much pain as if he was suffering from a serious wound. I don't know what to do… what should I do? With the way I was, I have no mean to ease his pain.

I looked around for help and realized that right now there was no one to help Jude. I don't want him to die… I vow to myself that I will protect him… why I didn't have enough power to protect him? Is it my fault for falling in love with him so this tragedy happened? Is meeting Jude a fault of fate? That we shouldn't have met in the first place?

I was still blaming myself when I felt a hand on my cheek. I quickly turned to Jude and saw that his eyes were half opened though it didn't show any sign of consciousness. What he said at the time sent the biggest shock to me.

"Milla… I love you…" he said.

After he said that, he closed his eyes in agonized ways and he also started screaming in agony while cold sweats started dripping from his forehead. I snapped from my trance and picked him up so I could let him lay on the bed. I was actually grateful that the bed was not so far.

When I intended to get some water and towel to somehow ease his pain, I sensed Artes activation. It wasn't a normal Artes either, since the signature of it was very different from what human and normal spirits usually use. There is only one line of spirits that can use this kind of Artes.

I turned around and saw Jude's body glowed in vivid gold and magic circles started appearing around him as it turned around like a spiral. I saw the centre of it as the necklace that I had given to Jude more or less 5 years ago. That necklace is our memento of our time when the two of us departed to Lu Rondo to get my legs fixed. Even after he forgot about me… he still keep the necklace that I gave him…

But, seeing the Artes activation, I kicked out my brief moment of my happiness as Jude started to look like that he was in pain.

"JUDE!" I screamed as I tried to get near him but then got thrown away by an invisible barrier. The barrier seems to absorb my power as well as I turned limp on the ground, my body can't move the way I wanted it.

I groaned in pain as my back meet with the floor and I watched from below how Jude was suffering as the Artes activated. Moreover, I couldn't move at all to even stop the activation that I felt worse for not able to protect him. I forced my body to move when I suddenly heard a voice echoed inside my mind.

'_Milla, don't you dare try to get near Jude right now!_' the voice said inside my mind which I recognized it instantly as Musee's voice.

'_M-Musee… so you know about this as well?_' I asked my sister inside my mind as I still tried to force myself to stand up.

'_It's not important right now! Milla, you are recovering from the huge loss of Mana right now. If you got into close distance with that Artes, Milla you will disappear from human world for good!_' Musee scolded me inside my head as I struggled to even move my hand.

'_But, right now Jude is in pain! I can't just watch it like that!_' I said inside my mind even when I knew that Musee was right.

'_Don't get stubborn on me Milla! This is what Jude had chosen for himself! If you really want to stop it, call her name! If it's you, then she will come right away! That good-for-nothing-pain-in-the-ass-sticky-nagging-po ssessive spirits name!_' Musee said with an obviously angry voice.

I was actually surprised when Musee mentioned the name of the least spirit I could care right now. Musee way on calling her was surprisingly colorful as well, but it didn't matter for now. But then, she was the only one come to my mind that has this Artes trait, so she could stop it.

I wanted to summon the said spirits when Musee voice echoed inside my mind, not telepathically but it's more like that I reminded of her words.

"_This is what Jude had chosen for himself!_" it said.

My lips trembled when I reminded of that. Jude knew full well of what his action will bring him, but he still chose to endure the pain without even consulting to me. But, for what reason he used the Record power? The Record job is to record events of one life and deliver it to Origin… they possessed a small power to travel between time just to record the possibilities of choice…

My eyes widened when I recognized what I had thought. Record's role is to record events of one life, meaning they have the access of one memory. The light that surrounding Jude right now was the same light that entered my body when I just got reborn as a spirit, a light of past self… the memory recovering Artes.

I gulped my voice before I muttered, "Rise… Record… I command you to come… come here right now…" I muttered with a small voice. I need an answer and a way to stop this and only the caster can do that kind of feat…

As I finished my simple summoning, someone quickly materialized beside me. The light was slightly golden-ish but it didn't hurt my eyes since it was quite dim. I saw the face of a spirit that was grieving right now as she saw me.

Rise Record, the only one Recorder that have a physical form and also the Recorder of both me and Jude. Her hair style resembled mine but it just reaches her shoulder and she has Jude's amber colored eyes. She looked around Elize age and just as tall as the one I mentioned.

"Rise… you have an explanation to ma-" but, before I can force her to say something about the Artes, she put a small (but effective) sleep spell on me and my minds slumbered into a deep abyss.

Before the abyss completely enveloping me, I could hear Rise sadly said, "I'm sorry for stepping from my line… but, for now please rest Milla-sama… my deepest apology," she said with a soft voice that reminded me of Jude voice.

_Jude… I don't want to see you suffer…_

* * *

Well, that's it for this chapter. I don't know what passed my head when I write that 4 mystical words (the 'Milla I love you' one, I mean) but who knows what will happen next after Jude recovered from the Artes as it means he had remembered something.

For the Milla memory part, if you had played TOX Milla side, you'll see that in the Spirit World, Maxwell (or the clone I guess) gave Undine Milla's past memory in the form of light which she later give to Milla, and by meeting Jude she regained all of her past memory about him (which was so sweet to me). That was the main reason why I created an OC of Record Spirit because that kind of thing should have come from somewhere right?

Oh yeah, for the information, Rise name is Rise Record (like how Milla had the name Milla Maxwell) and the way to read Rise name is the same with Rieze from Rieze Maxia, just with 's' instead of 'z'. Her name is a play of Rieze Maxia after all where most of the story in the first game happened.

Anyway, now that I'm done rambling my head out for this chapter, **I hope you will leave me some review**~


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